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EPISODE 24 Somebody You Love does a Christmas episode

Yes, we’re doing a Christmas episode. It may not seem like the sexiest of topics, and the result is a little bit unruly, but we were determined to make it work! Featuring: our sexy gift giving guide, the worst gifts we’ve received, festive sexcapades, and holiday pornos.


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Jenna Love 0:01

Do you miss the free and affordable ads and social networks without all of the anti sex rhetoric?

Holly Harte 0:06

Assembly Four is a team of sex workers and technologists from Melbourne, Australia, aiming to bring back free and fair advertising and social spaces to the sex working community.

Jenna Love 0:15

Stepping away from the clunky design of traditional platforms, their two products trust dot link and Refreshing and well needed changes in both presentation and mission.

Holly Harte 0:26

And both are free to join and open to all.

Jenna Love 0:29

You can find both of our profiles on trust and I love how it is so clearly designed by sex workers.

Holly Harte 0:35

Yep. And I love how straightforward and easy it is to use and how much they clearly support the sex working community

Jenna Love 0:41

and also how responsive they are when it comes to feedback and customer service.

Holly Harte 0:46

Check out their website assembly for the word not the number for more info

Jenna Love 0:55

Well, welcome to somebody you love for the sale of two tidies. I'm Jenna love,

Holly Harte 1:03

and I'm Holly Harte.

Jenna Love 1:05

And we're experts in disappointing our parents breaching community guidelines and banging the people who vote against our rights. First of all, we would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land from which we are recording. Today we are both on the land of the nanowall people. We acknowledge that sovereignty was never ceded. This land always was and always will be Aboriginal land. Today,

Holly Harte 1:30

we are going to have a very chaotic episode intentionally limited confidence in this one, but hopefully it's limited preparation time and preparation. But we're hoping that we can fly by the seat of our reindeer. So we're doing a Christmas vibe today. Yeah, like holiday special. Yeah. Inclusive party. Yeah,

Jenna Love 1:56

yeah, basically, we've been together for a couple of days now, which is really exciting. Because we haven't done that for months and months and months, we've been able to, this is the third episode that we're recording in the space of about 24 hours. So we've gotten a little bit loopy and we just thought Fuck it. We'll just talk about some vaguely holiday Christmas related shit. So here we go.

Holly Harte 2:18

Nice to do something a little bit more lighthearted and a little bit more loosey goosey.

Jenna Love 2:22

Like my pussy.

Holly Harte 2:23

I'm telling it's loose. I know it's not there.

Jenna Love 2:29

So first, well we thought might be a good idea is like a holiday Christmas. Sorry. I keep them to PC I know. But it's like a gift giving guide. Yeah. Because I'm a raging atheist. So I'm not really into Christmas. But yeah, gift giving guys a sexy gift giving guide. Yeah, just having a bit of a

Holly Harte 2:46

chat about some gifts that we think are really cool. Or some things that we recommend.

Jenna Love 2:50

Yeah, yeah. So we thought what about if you want to give your partner or a sex worker or yourself a little sexy, sexy treat? Do we have like recommendations of our favourite toys?

Holly Harte 3:03

Definitely. I think yeah, this could be sort of last minute for a lot of people. Maybe you're in that position where you do need something last minute as a gift. Or maybe you can get it in the Christmas. We'll call Boxing Day sales. That could be cool as well. Yeah. So look, my two favourite toys this year, which you know, my clients have probably heard me rave about a fair bit. The enjoy pure one, which is the big steel bar that really effectively makes me squirt. Highly recommended. A lot of my clients will know that this year was my squaring journey. I don't do it. With every breath I take like Jenna does. So still couches soaking wet at the moment. Mr. Love mopping up around me. So yeah, so I went on a bit of a journey to see if I could reliably had that effect. And yeah,

Jenna Love 3:57

was it heavy? Is that when I

Holly Harte 3:59

brought it with me today, too, you know, but we'll we'll link it and you know, people can look it up. I definitely wouldn't say it's a beginners tool. I would say this is a tool for maybe an escort that you know already really enjoys. You know, vaginal stimulation. G Spot stimulation or even it prostate stimulation. I hear it's wonderful for the piece doesn't have two different ends. It has a larger, small eyes. Yeah. And yet it's very heavy, very effective. If you have wrist problems, I probably wouldn't recommend it because it really is heavy to hold. Especially while you're trying to get in that mood and in that angle. But yeah, I would say that is a wonderful tool. It is a little bit on the pricey side. But fantastic. Love that toy. I'm going to just jump straight into my second recommendation for this year. I have fallen in love with the bush Abbey. So that's a mouthful. It's basically meant to be an internal vibrator, designed by Abby Chatfield in collaboration with Bush. Again, we'll probably By the link are some details about it. This is a more affordable one. And it's really, really cute. It's designed to be gender inclusive. It's much lighter. So it's wonderful. Again, if you're on a budget or if you have wrist injuries, so it's a bit more of a, you know, family friendly toy, or people pleaser toy. But yeah, again, another great one for squirting. And I just find it really satisfying. This one vibrates, it's got a magnetic charger, packaging is all really cute. And yeah, I think it's a really, really great brand. So that's I owned both of those toys. So I'm not, you know, angling for anyone to get them for me. But definitely if you have a sex worker or a partner in your life who is into those sorts of vibrators or toys, that would be my recommendations or even for yourself again, if you are a vagina owner or an anus owner who is listening, you may find them practical for yourself. So

Jenna Love 5:55

it's not ablest for us to assume that everyone listening either has at least a vagina or an anus, right? Well, no, it

Holly Harte 6:01

actually may be because we don't have either of those things at the moment. One of my clients has had to have a procedure and yeah, doesn't actually able to put anything inside there. He still has one though. He has an anus, but there's not much. Not much. put anything in there. Yeah. So maybe down the track when they've healed up they can look into that but but I think they've got quite a lot. I think they're sorted in my, in my my experience. But yeah, a lot of people that called Bobby butts when they've had it all sort of setup down there.

Jenna Love 6:32

Yeah, yeah. Okay. No, that's a good point. Not everyone very ablest cool, very well, I'm glad to admit that. I'm actually so I'm really not a big toys person. Like I I'm really a fan of like manual stimulation and just your hobbies. Yeah, like and other people's hands. Yeah. And, like, I just, it wasn't until a few years ago that I actually found a toy that did anything for me. And that was just a It's a magic wand. Basic. Oh, when I use is a wand. I always W A nd Yeah,

Holly Harte 7:05

I always recommend a wand. You've got over one in your collection. So yeah, I think so.

Jenna Love 7:09

That's and that's the only thing then I really like. And I guess I do really like it because I have to I have one that stays my suitcase and one it stays by the bed. I was

Holly Harte 7:17

gonna say the reason that they're so wonderful is because they usually an external toy. And they're really rumbly. And you can just put them up against your clit and just come for days.

Jenna Love 7:26

Well that Yeah, I mean, up until a few years ago, when I discovered that I'd never found enjoyment from vibration. Like that. I was found that to like deep like I prefer a manual thing, like something that a hand can do. But anyway. Yeah, I quite like it. And I like the LaWanda really like it's quite heavy. And the reason I bought that one was because a client bought one with him. And he bought it into the booking. put a condom on obviously. And I so because it's a it's a battery operated, but you could like you charge it up so you can use it plugged in or not. And he pulled it out and I thought oh, if it's battery operated, it's not going to be very powerful. Like I thought, no, we need this button

Holly Harte 8:06

to the wall. They need it. Come on mains powered fan. Yeah, yeah, I

Jenna Love 8:10

was like, Have you got three phase power here? Like, yeah, but it was really fucking so I was like, whoa, okay, so I literally went he left, I went online and ordered one for myself. Yeah, really, really good. So it's essentially like if you've heard of a Hitachi magic wand, which, you know, the touchy massager that's the, you know, kind of the OG and has a lot of different ones out there. I know a lot of people like doxies as other brands. And I should mention, we are not sponsored for any of this. And this is just our own, but they shouldn't be sponsoring us. And probably, frankly, who not many other people will. But anyway, so yeah, that's my go to so if you don't have a wand, then I would be giving that a go. I use it on clients who have penises a lot. Eyes on a partner of mine who has a penis, he really enjoys having that used on him. So it's certainly not only for Volvo owners.

Holly Harte 9:05

What about it was different? Like how come before that you hadn't been really into any sort of toy?

Jenna Love 9:11

I think the strength is a big part of it, that it's yeah, that it's powerful. And I think it's for me like toys, I often just feel like it's just fucking around. Like I'd rather just get to it like sometimes I just feel like there's all this stuff you've got to charge them up. You've got to put certain like arm I got and I've got so many toys because so many clients have bought toys for me and a lot of my clients like me to use toys on them or on me, and they've all got different adapters and think like oh my god, it's just such hassle and I, I guess because I'm somebody who's so orgasmic and stuff like I've never, I shouldn't say need but I've never needed anything extra at all. Yeah, but I will say something that I invested in this year wasn't wasn't even a big investment wasn't very expensive. Was a set of cuffs for my bed. I just like I don't know if that's the right word. I'm using so permanently on in my work room. I have, yeah, these cuffs. So there's, there's four of them, there's one on every corner of the bed. And they're the ones I've got to just Velcro. So they're nothing, you know, it's not fully restrained or anything you can pretty easily get out from it. But it's just a really, like, it's really great to have it on the bed already. Because if somebody says to me, I'd love to try being tied up or something. I'm just like, well, what prop and I just like, tie them up, and they just like done. And I've been enjoying playing with that. And I think that that's a really nice, like, entry level thing into bondage. But it's cool. It's very Yeah, it's very kind of like it's they can get out easily, you can just rip the velcro up, and you don't have to worry about cutting rope, or whatever. And you can just you can do really light stuff. Like I've got a client I've been doing a lot of experimenting with. And we've been doing things like I blindfold him time up, and then things like just literally running feathers over him or go and get a cube of ice from my freezer, and do like a bit of a hot and cold blowjob thing. He's been wanting to try like candle wax. I've been dripping candle wax on him. Just these little set like it's it's nothing hardcore. But it's I think it's a it might be something that if you want to explore something a bit more, a bit more out there. But you're not, you know, yeah, cool. I think something like that's a pretty, pretty fun idea.

Holly Harte 11:24

Yeah, that's cool. I've been looking into those. What do they call like under mattress?

Jenna Love 11:28

That's what it is. Yeah, that's what it is. He said,

Holly Harte 11:33

Oh, yeah, that's, and it wasn't

Jenna Love 11:35

very expensive. Because I didn't you know, I didn't get I'm sure you can get really, you know, high end ones and all that. And I do have some nice bondage equipment. But for Yeah, from what I need it for. It's quite handy. Although that being said, I did go to my my boyfriend's just moved out to a new place and got a new bed. And I went there the other day. And the first thing I noticed in the bedroom was that he had screwed carabiners into all the corners of the bed. So that's another option, you could just make your own restraints attached to the bed.

Holly Harte 12:06

Yeah, that's not going to shock anyone in the household. If you're still living with your parents, and they come and make you mad, maybe well, that that could be very awkward. thing I would recommend actually just popped into my head, a lovely fellow worker actually gave me as a gift once. And the bread itself is very expensive. You don't have to commit to this brand. But the Liberator brand, one of those. It's like a heart shaped wedge. And and that's really perfect for often rooming and things like that. So you can just slide it under and get into it. To get one I can't tell you how practical it is. I use it particularly with one client and I try not to use it with every client, because it's a bit of a nuisance to get the wash it yeah, go through that whole process every time. But it's very firm. And so it really helps you get into positions. And when you sort of, say a wedge for sex, that sounds really like, you know, it's a bit cumbersome, but it actually really does help you get into all the angles that you need. And

Jenna Love 12:58

I have thought about that a number of times. I've never bitten the bullet. And I'm going to do it now really like it. Yeah, it's wonderful. I've just thought of something else. Yeah, actually look at me being like, I don't like toys, and then I've got all these ideas. So anyone who has listened to show before knows that I'm a squatter. And it's a whole thing monopolises my whole bloody life. I've always got rubber sheets, and that but I recently discovered that you can also buy rubber or not, they're not rubber, they're they're vinyl or whatever. There's a whole range of different materials, they can use pillowcases. So I've got those for my my bed at home because what I find a lot is a lot of guys want me to sit on their face and Squirtle over them. But they want a pillow under their head. And I'm like lovely but I don't want to squirt or I want to put fluids all in a pillow. So now I have you know the mattresses protected by I've got this big fitted rubber mattress protector. And then my pillows have those and I just put a normal pillowcase on top of it. So it looks like it actually is quite comfortable. It's quite because it's like nice rubber. Oh, yeah. wrinkly No. So quickly. Yeah, it's really it's actually quite comfortable modern technology. So now my pillows are protected as well. So I feel good about that. So I don't know if you're somebody who encounters fluids in the bedroom. Or maybe you've got a kid who wets the bed. I'm just letting what's the pillow, the pillow. You know, sometimes kids end up upside down in bed. Just letting you know that you can get pillowcase? Protector thingies pillow protectors? Yeah,

Holly Harte 14:23

it's a few really cool ideas. I've got a non sexual gift idea which I just have to spruik because I know non sexual, and this is gonna be a really weird one. But I'm just gonna throw it out there. One of the best gifts that I've received in the past, however many years people are just gonna, like shake their heads at me because I'm such a die. But actually what's the Barefoot Investor book? A lot of people who know me know that I don't come from a wealthy background at all. And I have never been good at managing money. About three or four years ago somebody gifted me the Barefoot Investor book and that alone With a few others, there's

Jenna Love 15:00

not like an insulting gift. No, where they're like, Babe, you need this.

Holly Harte 15:04

Like, oh, I've heard this is super popular, sold millions of copies, people love it, you know, it's really, you know, take it or leave it. And it's not my sort of thing. I'm not a financial, I'm not an investment. That's never been my, I don't know, I don't care like money, whatever. But it really helped me things like I had seven superannuation accounts, I had a credit card, it was only a $3,000 credit card, which just continually maxed out, I never, you know, pay my bills and events I never organised myself basically. And it is a privileged thing that I am in that position to have been able to, but it really helped me just sort of get my ducks in order. And it's a really simple way to look at it might not make you rich, but it will help you to sort of maximise your comfort or or that for somebody else that you know, who maybe has some goals and you want to help them achieve. So maybe not necessarily a work. I don't know if that'll be condescending if someone goes yeah, but I think other people that I hated that book. So what book the bathroom? Oh, you did? Okay.

Jenna Love 16:02

I don't like being told what to do. No, fair enough. I don't know where I bought it. I thought everyone's reading this book. So I better get it. And then I was reading it and I was like, fuck off. Why are you telling me what to do? To stupid my fault for buying it

Holly Harte 16:15

to groups of people. But certainly, you know, in other areas in your life, or even for yourself massively recommend if you want to buy yourself a Christmas gift this year? If you've just been getting really frustrated with money or you feel like you need a little bit of a kickstart. Good, good, what $30 To spend.

Jenna Love 16:30

All right, I've got one that's non sexual, but I feel like it's good for like romantic. Yeah, so it's works in with that. I like it. And people know about this, but I was looking up I wanted to do like a weekend massage class with my husband. Because I always need massages, so I just wanted him to get better at giving massages, basically, like, that was my main reason behind it like him. Yeah, yeah. So I was like, That would be good, but also be nice, like to go together and learn. Anyway, basically, I just discovered that there is this whole world of classes. This guy sounds so stupid people know this, don't they? Am I really stupid? I'm a little bit stupid.

Holly Harte 17:07

I mean, I've done a mess I went in to do like I got qualified in reflexology. Sounds silly. It's pseudoscience. It's foot massage. And that's really a really good book. That's

Jenna Love 17:19

what I thought would be useful for me for work. Because people often that can you give me a massage? I'm like, sure, but I might break something. I don't I don't do

Holly Harte 17:26

that. I strictly ruled it out on my services. I was like, No, I'm not you're subservient. I'm not gonna rub you like a massage. I'm here to touch a day.

Jenna Love 17:34

My only fear is I injure them because I don't want to fucking doing you know,

Holly Harte 17:38

I should bring it back. If you see this and you're gonna book me if you want to mess that. Just let me know. I'm happy to actually rub you. I don't know why I decided not to do it for a few years. There's been a bit spoiled. It's okay. Yeah. But I don't mind I like touching people. I don't know why I decided I was suddenly I'm Fair enough. Fair

Jenna Love 17:53

enough. And yeah, so classes. Yeah, I just saw and there's all the like, there's just so many different classes you can do like, you know, cupcake making or learning a certain days lots of cooking ones and actually asked my mom to get me some of those for Christmas. And Mr. Love because I just I don't know about other people, but we really love, you know, learning stuff together and doing projects together. And, and I feel like you know, yet nonsexual gift, but you could then go home and have really great

Holly Harte 18:18

sex. Yeah, it is. It's a bonding experience. And I think yeah, if there's anything we've learned in our job, it's that, you know, sex is not all that our relationships about there are a lot of other things that make things sexy. Like, it's not just about physicality. It's about building that.

Jenna Love 18:30

So yeah, do we make activities together? I guess is what I'm getting at. And I think I don't know about I mean, you'd have to, in terms of per worker, like it would have to be on an individual basis. But if a client said like, would you come do a class with me? Like, I'd be like, fuck, yes, that would be mad. So and I think it's just cool because it's, you know, inexperienced rather than a product and you can share that together. Cool. Good suggestion. So what, okay, we've talked about some good gifts or gift ideas. Have you had like, any terrible gifts? Or just,

Holly Harte 19:01

I wouldn't say terrible, but I've definitely had some weird gifts in my time. Look, I can't actually do it. I remember somebody telling me that once a client gave them a lump of coal. Do you remember that? I don't know where I've heard it now. But I remember somebody saying, I don't know if it was like a joke. But anyway, that was a weird story. One of my clients once gave me and it was really well intentioned, but it was also I just didn't know what to do with it. A nude calendar of him and his funny team. And like, just put it out there that like it like, like, let's just say if this was like the elite, like recall them. First grade, you know, but, you know, I totally get what you're getting out like, right, you know, I still don't think it'd be my vibe, but

Unknown Speaker 19:45

for charity or Sunday. Oh, no,

Holly Harte 19:47

it was just a whole lot of like, sort of average dude's just nude. It was really awkward. It was not. There was nothing about it. That was that was high

Jenna Love 19:58

quality because he was proud of it right? Yeah, I

Holly Harte 20:01

think I think you thought it was funny and sort of funny, but I thought it was like, thanks. And I put it in a drawer. Like four years later I went Oh, yeah. should have kept it because it would be funny now. Now. Yeah. Anyways, really nice client. And I hope he wouldn't be offended by me saying, but yeah, it was it was a gift that I sort of was like, yeah. Yeah, what do you do? Anyway? What about you?

Jenna Love 20:28

One in particular sticks in my mind. I was on tour. And I had this client who I think I can't remember if it was the second or the third time that I'd seen him. And it was just before Christmas. So he decided to get me a Christmas present. And now in these bookings, what he wanted me to do was basically, like, act like a dog, like I had to put a collar on and like crawl around, and he would bring like human food, but put it in a dog bowl for me to eat and stuff like that. And that's all fine. Like that stuff. I'm happy to do. Like, I just, I don't know, I'm like, sure. I feel like that's really low energy for me, like, I can walk around like a dog, no worries. But it's not something that I would choose to do in my personal life, right, just because that's not my kink. So he got me this present. And he was so excited about it. And there was such a build up to it, because he had ordered online that he ordered bits, like all these it was just a whole thing. And he gave me this box. And he said to me, I don't want you to open up while I'm here. I want you to wait until I leave to open it. And he I'm trying to remember all the things he said about it. Like he was like, You're the only person that that could get this gift and like it was obviously something really designed for me and really, you know, and, and it was very, I was like, I'm fucking fascinated. Like, what is this? As I said, I think maybe it was the third time I'd say to him, so I didn't didn't even know him that well. And our time together had been spent with me crawling on the floor like a dog. Like I was like I don't even I don't really know. Thanks. FOC Fuck, he didn't want me to open it in front of him. Because my reaction. I don't think it's what he was expecting. And he kept I can't wait to see your face. Or your like he was so into it. Certainly I he left and I was like, What the fuck is this? So open this box. And it's it's a bubble head of someone that was supposed to be me on all fours with like with the collar and cuffs and everything on bubble in their little head with the bubble had had red hair. So it was like a bondage bobblehead again. But this is the thing where I was like, he was like, it's just so you and I was like, You are the client that wanted me to act like a dog. I like that's not so me. So me at all. That's any you know, he was going on about how much I love doing that. And I was like, yes. Because that's my job like, yeah, of course. I'm really glad for when I'm doing that, because that's what you've paid me to do. So like just it was one of those kind of disconnects where, you know, but yeah, so bobblehead which I just thought was hysterical. And, and then he had paid to get my name engraved on it. And this and I really feel for him because he explained this to me. What had happened, what he got was a fucking label stuck on there. And again, this is not his drawing, like I feel sorry for him. It was like a clear label that said Jenna love on it, that had been stuck on the side of it was peeling off at the corners, it was like curling up. And that when he paid like 100 bucks or something for it being great. So he got ripped off. So it had this sticker that was just like rapidly stuck. It looks so shitty. And I thought and obviously he paid for it. So I would have just taken that off like it really? I don't know, it wasn't good. Anyway, so then I put it in my suitcase. I was like, I guess I'm taking this bubble add on the board at home. And then of course, my husband decided to put it in amusing locations around the house. And on more than one occasion. I discovered after there were already people in somewhere really like conspicuous. I think my sister came to stay at our house like we went away for a week and she came to stay to look after my, our cat. And when we got home, I discovered that it was sitting right in front of the TV. Like, like if you turn the TV on, it would be obscuring the vision of the TV like so there's no way she wouldn't have seen it. And she would have been like what the fuck is my kid sister like, why is there a bobblehead dog woman like what is this? Anyway? That's all it was just you had to be there, but it was fucking wild.

Holly Harte 24:53

So where is it now?

Jenna Love 24:54

I don't know. I think we must have chucked it. I think if

Holly Harte 24:58

you can't see it, it's sitting somewhere.

Jenna Love 25:01

It's like going out from pool just waiting

Holly Harte 25:03

to catch it.

Jenna Love 25:05

He does have a tendency to do that you know those dildos that you can stick like up on the we often play a game of backseat fourth see with that and they end up in each other's houses in each other's houses in each other's rooms and in each other's cars in the fridge. They Elf on the Shelf on Elf on the Shelf on the window dick in Yeah. Yeah, hop on a rock. bobblehead on the fridge. Okay, so there's a gift giving guide don't give people a bobblehead. It's fucking weird.

Holly Harte 25:35

A lot of themselves are probably not in general. I'm not a bobble head fan. And or not a calendar. Look, there are a few people I wouldn't mind a nude calendar. But yeah, generally, generally, probably don't just send me send me know they're gonna say send me a nude pic. And I thought oh, I better not invite that I could get no

Jenna Love 25:58

Mr. Love has been using manscaped products for a few years now. And he swears by them. He's been using the lawn mower 3.0. And also, sometimes I steal it from his bathroom and I use it to I'd say Don't tell him but he's editing this podcast. And yes, despite the name, the product itself is actually gender neutral.

Holly Harte 26:20

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Jenna Love 26:42

Of course here at somebody you love. We believe that you should groom or knock room your body hair however you wish. But trimming is a great option because you don't have to worry about all of the hassles that come with shaving or waxing. Like ingrowns micro cuts that awful itching when it grows back and also irritating the delicate skin of your lover. If you're visiting a sex worker, it's the perfect way to ensure that everything is neat and tidy. But with no breaks in the skin that can increase your risk of transmission and infection

Holly Harte 27:14

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Jenna Love 27:43

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Jenna Love 28:05

What's our next topic? We got to talk about snowballing what a snowball Christmas related rabbit. Okay, so generally I think it's when a person with a penis ejaculate into the mouth of somebody and then that somebody puts it from their mouth into the penis owner's mouth. And perhaps there's see that that's where it stops for me. I think there's supposed to be continued back and forth. I will put your comeback in your mouth. But I don't want to proceed. Yeah. Have you done it? Oh, yeah. Oh, no. No, wild. Yeah, right. Yeah. Okay. Okay. So my tape, right. I

Holly Harte 28:41

don't do coming up. You know, I mean, yeah. Have you ever been, you know, with? You know, like, personal?

Jenna Love 28:52

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So okay, my tip. So so a lot of I find a lot of guys, you know, when they're in the moment, like, yeah, I want you to put it back in my mouth. So that's a thing, right? But then I find like, as soon as they've come, yes, they're

Holly Harte 29:07

like, oh, no, I don't want to they don't want it anymore. So I always do. So I'm

Jenna Love 29:11

down there. I take it in my mouth. And then I always come up over, I'm going to do it to the camera. And I go, like,

Holly Harte 29:18

like, that's the face that you want you want.

Jenna Love 29:22

And then they're either like, and I'm like, okay, or they're like, oh, no, don't worry about it. And I'm like, okay, cool. But I always that's my because I can't ask their consent wildly mouthful of come. But I feel like you've got to have that heart. If so unless it's something you do it with all the time. Yeah, but I think snowball and you've got to have a little iContact consent moment. Because for a lot of guys, the idea is really hot until after they've had an orgasm.

Holly Harte 29:45

Yeah, I've had a lot of guys say things like yeah, I want to do this might come or do whatever. And then as soon as they've come they're like, Oh, please don't like why don't want it. Why would you do that? Oh interesting there you

Jenna Love 30:01

go I mean that's not really relevant to Australian Christmas but it is to our friends in the northern hemisphere. Don't ever say we don't look after Yeah, I'm

Holly Harte 30:08

gonna snow snowball action snowballs

Jenna Love 30:13

What about like Christmas dress ups? Are you into like a Mrs. Claus moment or?

Holly Harte 30:17

Yeah, no I do Mr. Claus. I do the whole thing that was bad. Whoa, whoa, whoa, but you get the gist of what you know. Yeah, you know. In fact, I like whoever I'm talking to be the reindeer and put a little red nose on antlers and I just you know elfs not

Jenna Love 30:34

your thing. Okay,

Holly Harte 30:37

the point two years. Yeah, like, pointed.

Jenna Love 30:41

Okay, this just isn't Holly's Auntie pointed is so if you've got point two years

Holly Harte 30:46

go go go elsewhere Yep, ah, no, I've never done any Christmas dress ups.

Jenna Love 30:57

I gotta say these difficult for us down under because it's fucking hot. Yeah, and all Christmas themed things like that white fur even if it's like a little cute bikini that's like modelled off Santa Claus, which I don't know what else it is. But it'll have like the white fluffy stuff on it. And like, end of December in Australia, in a lot of places in Australia is like you don't even like a bikini is too much clothing. So it's a bit awkward.

Holly Harte 31:24

I did a lot of like strip events where I would be totally nude except a Santa hat. And that was yeah, that was always even

Jenna Love 31:30

not even the centre I swear to eat. Yeah,

Holly Harte 31:33

I'm already a sweaty girl. It was not a good time. You know? Yeah, I also did Christmas parties. They used to be a boat out here on the lake where it was like a pirate boat. Anyone in camera will know what I'm talking about with the strip shows on that and we were said to have some of the songs I

Jenna Love 31:47

heard you like tacky so I put tacky on your tacky he is

Holly Harte 31:50

asked to like stripper poles and they'd be like all these flashing lights and like drift off music right just cruising around the lake here in camera. And I think kind of how much the guys would pay for a party but they'd also have a couple of staff on there who would cook a barbecue there would be like a kind of explain how bizarre the barbecue was on the boat. It was like a normal barbecue on a boat. It was like almost in the water like it was the weirdest set. I can't explain it was just chaotic. So they make this barbecue and then like our job as like the boat strippers would be like to do a couple of little lap ease and dance around look cute and then as lunchtime came we'd have to like source up all of the sausages for the guys I was just really weird they the ones provided I don't know it's weird so we just saw particularly because you don't want the guys getting to paste you'd be like trying to sausages and and then you do some more horny dancing and

Jenna Love 32:46

they tried to feed you their sausages space certainly

Holly Harte 32:48

tried. Yeah. But I've never been into the Christmas dress up so many dress up. Nurse nurse requests a school girl thing? I don't I don't have like a Secretary of State Secretary so I got heaps I don't own like a white blouses. I don't own anything that really covers up my today's except really casual T shirts.

Unknown Speaker 33:09

I only own things. Yeah,

Holly Harte 33:12

Secretary Well, that's your woman. Yeah, if you want, you know, Bogan

Jenna Love 33:19

army secretary. Hey, Ma, I'm very specific.

Holly Harte 33:22

They want they want a woman who looks like she can't be mad. But all you can have her. Yeah. Yeah, but if you want like Summernats girl, then I'm here.

Jenna Love 33:33

Yeah, I'm not into dress up for like for work short. No worries. I've got a Yeah, no school girls Secretary get hates teacher. I get heaps. But in my personal life, I really I just want to be naked. I really hate the idea of like dressing up in a I don't get it. I feel like an idiot. I don't know. Because I do theatre stuff. So like when I'm in a costume. I'm like, okay, cool. I'm playing a character. Like it's not like fun sexy shit. It's like it's it's weird. Yeah. Sorry. I shouldn't say it's weird. Some people don't really know. But for me, it doesn't feel Yeah.

Holly Harte 34:04

Yeah, so No, I've never done like a Christmassy some. You know, I'm always open. If that's your kink? Yeah, but

Jenna Love 34:12

yeah, totally. If somebody was like, Can you do Mrs. Claus? Roleplay for me, I mean, I'd have to do some Googling. You know much about it?

Holly Harte 34:19

Yeah, entertaining. But yeah, I mean, don't force it. Don't Don't do it. Just because we've said it Now go. Yeah. Cool. What else have we got?

Jenna Love 34:29

Do we can talk about Christmas party things?

Holly Harte 34:32

Oh, yeah. Like naughty sexcapades party sexcapades. Christmas

Jenna Love 34:38

festivities season? Parties, although, I wonder if there are fewer parties now because we're all burned from the pandemic or is it the opposite? Is everyone like fuck it? Let's go.

Holly Harte 34:48

I feel an inclination to do more. I think people I know in my sort of circle seem to be socialising a lot. Really. But maybe.

Jenna Love 34:57

I thought like Okay, so my My boyfriend works in events, and was telling me that there's so many like music festivals next year. And I was like, what? I thought we'd stamp them out forever. Obviously he like likes them and was like, stopping such this whole job. Yeah, yeah. But um, but I was like, Oh man, like I thought the pandemic had solved everything and then I'd never have to be around more than two people ever again. Yeah, but apparently not. Apparently humanity is fighting back with a vengeance. So, yes,

Holly Harte 35:29

that you're in town to possibly go out with me and a few other people. Yeah.

Jenna Love 35:33

i That's a reasonable. That's not a festival though. That's a reasonable amount, like under 20s. I mean, it's a lot but it's that's reasonable. I can handle that.

Holly Harte 35:40

limited amounts of time. Yeah. So Christmas, sexy sex party sex. mischief are? Yeah, I look, I don't remember having sex for Christmas or anything like that. The only incident I sort of remember the incident sounds, people voting event, the only activity that I remember is. And, again, it's may not be because I didn't do anything. It may be because my memory is just terrible. But I remember having sex with one guy. at his place. He lived a couple of suburbs away from me when I was younger. And we went to his house. And I vaguely recall the sex. Obviously, it wasn't remarkable. But it was Christmas Eve and I remember waking up the next morning. And it was like 6am And I thought I better get home or I was living you know, with my family. At that point. I thought I you know, better arrived because was going to be home for Christmas, at least somewhere somewhere in the vicinity. And so I was walking home by myself at 6am I think I just left him asleep. A few suburbs just quietly Christmas morning. There was no one on the streets. There was no sound and it's just something really calm and really cool about it. And really nice about having gotten my rocks off and had some really, you know, good time the night before. And yeah, that's my start to lay.

Unknown Speaker 36:56

It's really sweet. It

Holly Harte 36:58

was really nice. Yeah, I love sex. And it's always been an exciting thing for me. So it was really wholesome just sort of reminiscing, you know, on the sex that I can't remember now, but I remember that sensation.

Jenna Love 37:08

It sounds like a scene from a movie. Like it's a lovely image in my head. It

Holly Harte 37:12

was really really really nice. I went home I think I lay down in bed for like an hour and then get up into the Christmas. Yeah. Didn't didn't, you know, let on that I'd been out all night with some some bloke anyway. Where is he now? Who knows? If I am there, Matt.

Jenna Love 37:29

I'm so boring. I don't think I have any like Christmas sick stories or, but I do. I have had some, there's a few things that pop into my mind. Like holiday celebration, he kind of moments. My I think was my 28th birthday. I think I had my first by mmF.

Holly Harte 37:48

So I had what

Jenna Love 37:51

are the beautiful that everything. So one of my partners. My boyfriend whom I'm still with at the moment is he describes himself as hetero flexible. And his his, the way he sees it is basically, he's into women. But to the extent where if there's a pair of tits in the room, he'll do anything, basically. And like so if there's a woman saying suck that dick. He's like, I better fucking suck that Dick, then, you know, it's quite good. It's quite good. Yeah, I'm quite quite a fan of it. And at the time, I had a client who was kind of transitioning into being more of a not client person I slept with, who was by, and he was very much, you know, very much into the deck. And it all just sort of worked out. And I had said to this client, like, I'm seeing my boyfriend tomorrow night. It's my birthday. I don't know, it all just worked out. And I was like, Do you want to come to our hotel room? And he was like, Yes. And I was like, Is this fair? This is weird. Yeah, it is weird. Oh, well, let's do it. Follow like what? This Okay, so I wrote a blog about it's no longer there. Because I decided that I hate writing. I don't know, every now and then I write things. And I'm like, Oh, I forgot that. I hate writing. Anyway, I was doing a little blog for a while. And I wrote about this night on my blog. And someone shared it on one of those forums on a sex work review for him. And all these dudes didn't believe they thought they were like, Oh, sounds like she's fantasising. And I was like, what? Like, sorry, your sex life is so fucking boring, but mine is actually great. Anyway, it was such a great it was a morning actually because he was working overnight shift and came and found us in the morning. We hadn't slept all that much. And we were a bit like bleary eyed and got up and I was like, Hey, babe, one of my clients is here to fuck you like it was pretty pretty. But it was so lovely. And then I think my next birthday, so we had a few a few after that, but I was like, Wow, what a fucking gift. That legend is

Holly Harte 39:57

awesome festive six birthdays. xsigo

Jenna Love 40:03

He said he didn't really have anything. That's another one to do

Holly Harte 40:06

well, oh, I'll carry on with my okay, I look, it's very tangentially linked, but how much how much personal information that we're gonna give away here

Jenna Love 40:18

we've given so much fucking care. I went

Holly Harte 40:23

to an event in 2011 Maybe called the Playboy golf event which was sponsored hosted by Playboy and you had to be selected to go to the Gold Coast to basically play golf was it was an activity where they would sponsor a whole lot of people to go and play golf and like a whole lot of blokes really to go and play golf. And if you won the golfing contest, you get a trip to the Playboy Mansion is obviously still when Playboy was a really big thing. And when he was still alive,

Jenna Love 40:59

he did clueless

Holly Harte 41:02

and and you know, he kind

Jenna Love 41:04

of thought he never would die. Like I thought he was just a staple of

Holly Harte 41:08

he was it was a scumbag. I mean, he was really shitty human being but he definitely did a lot of you know, good things for certain parts of sexuality, I suppose but, but bad things for a lot of women. So you know, controversial individual. Back to the point. So yeah, this, this this golf tournament, basically, they have on the Gold Coast at. Yeah, so no, I don't, I don't really know, where can you remember, I couldn't tell ya. So. So as part of that, they'd have a whole lot of babes on the golf course. And they'd all stand around at each tee. And then we'd give drinks and we'd you know, we're little tiny outfits and just be tardy. And we would compete, basically. So you'd have to try and flirt and bond with all of the guys who are playing golf. At the end of the tournament, they would vote and whoever won got to go to the Playboy Mansion. And, you know, potentially, who knows become one of his girlfriends. Oh, you know, that was the goal.

Jenna Love 42:00

This is so bizarre. Yeah,

Holly Harte 42:03

yeah, I've led an interesting life.

Unknown Speaker 42:04

We've led differently.

Holly Harte 42:06

Yeah. So. So yeah, I was accepted, which was massive at the time. That was a really big honour. And so I had to pay for my flights. But they supplied, you know, we got to stay at a hotel, the fancy one on the Gold Coast. Oh, Jupiters Casino. So to stay in the casino, with a bunch of other ladies. And before we went, we got to meet each other online. And it was really cool. We all sort of became, you know, little bad buddies. And they gave us a pack full of like, free bikinis and outfits and stuff. And then we also could book like a hair and makeup artist and tan lady and all this sort of stuff. So we had a whole team like it, I think it must have been like 60 to 80 Girls, like there was a lot of babes from around Australia. Like it's just super hot women everywhere the store is going on for ages. But hopefully you're enjoying it. So over the course of the event, I think there was a lot of shenanigans, it was pretty chaotic. There was not any drinking or drugs or anything. Well, I mean, I'm sure there was but not to any wild extent. But on the last day, we had a finale party. So we all were given flat, free drink passes and free admission to this party. All of the guys from the golf course, were there a few of the guys who worked at the golf course, or the golfers, or the staff of the event, everyone was just in this great big hole, and we just got pissed. And I got exceptionally drunk that night. And the event was, like winding up for the night. And everyone was sort of I looked around at some point everyone was making out with someone. And I was like, Well, I want to make out with someone. So I looked around and there was one guy left, who was sort of recognised was sort of new, and he was lame. He was such a lame dude. But I was like, I don't care. I want to, I want to get it. So I was like, I don't know, I didn't remember I went over and started making out with him. And he was like, yeah, and he said, Oh, you want to go back to my place? And I was like drunkenly, yeah, sure. Off, we staggered into the night and we walked past the line waiting for the taxis and you know, a bunch of people cheer for us because I was very clearly down to clown

Jenna Love 44:09

eye so that what they were watching was a very drunk woman stumbling home with a madman and she had a look.

Holly Harte 44:16

It does, the more telling the story, the more problematic it's seeming, but I'm getting like say he was obviously very drunk as well. And I was very consenting. I like there's no you no doubt about that. There may have been, you know,

Jenna Love 44:31

I mean, you remember it all. So that's something yeah,

Holly Harte 44:32

there may have been as a bystander. You may you may have thought oh, you know, but no, I was keen. Yeah. So anyway, so we're walking back to his house and fuck it took forever and I mean, they stacked it on tiny little dress, stupid amount of hair extensions. And, and I'm like, oh, let's just do it. So we started pulling each other's clothes off, fell down in the middle of an oval, like there was this big, wide oval we just it was dark at night because I'd rip each others clothes off and going for it. And suddenly, a few minutes in, bang, bang, bang, all of the oval lights went on like big stadium lights just lit up the whole oval. And we've just like naked, stuck naked, closer and looked up at each other and be like, Oh, we were like, started Yes, sort of half life and I was start grabbing our clothes. And as we did, we looked across and there are these two cops running across the oval as fast as he could see them to power pump public. And we just started laughing, grabbed our clothes, still mostly naked. At that point. I think he pulled his pants up and I pulled something down or up, and we just ran. I don't think we outrun the cops. I think we you know, they kind of caught up to us, but I think they realised we were moving on and

Jenna Love 45:40

let us see why they're running at you. Because we were fucking

Holly Harte 45:43

on a public oval, I suppose in the lights for random. People might have complained. I don't know. Maybe they were they were coming to Yeah. And we ran I think they realised we got the hit. And so they stopped chasing right. So pretty quickly. We didn't stop to look. Yeah, anyway, so I'll tell the rest of the story while I'm here. Okay. So we got to his place. And he promised me that he would drive me home now, I didn't put two and two together about how drunk he was. I didn't think while driving. I was drunk enough that I didn't really care, though it is placed in what we did. And then he goes on. I can't I'm too drunk to drive. Sorry. And I said, I've just fucking followed you all the way to your house. What are you fucking kidding me? And he's like, No, sorry.

Jenna Love 46:27

I mean, I'm glad he didn't.

Holly Harte 46:28

I know. But I was like, Can you helped me out for a check this back before Uber and stuff? Yeah. And I told everything. I had the cash for a taxi at this stage. I think, you know, again, it's not a wealthy young woman. And I was like, What the fuck am I gonna do? And so I know some girls that he knew were there. And those, he'll just share how so a bunch of guys and gals. And the girl said, Oh, look, we'll take her back to where she's staying. That's really sweet of these girls. Yeah. So I was pretty pissed off at him by that point, because he made no effort to help me to do that. So, you know, the whole time we've been this goal Festival. He talked about how much he loved his Superman belt how cool his belt was, we love these belts. I stuffed it in my hair back. Pull my pull my hand back over my shoulder. And off I got in the car. To these girls are driving me back to this some back to the rail stay. And they're like, oh, he keeps calling and he's asking where's belt? He's gonna take his belt is belt belt. And they're like, I'm thinking Fuck, I hope they don't say like, check a bag cuz I'm like, checking my bag again. Anyway, they came out. He's sure he's sure. Like, you definitely don't have his belt. I'm like, why would I take the belt? Like he's stupid? And you know, they dropped me off. And I got upstairs. I stood on the balcony. I threw his belt into a tree. Fuck you in so that was yeah, that was another you know, party sex event thing. That was kind of unfolded. Yeah. Funny story. Maybe entertaining. Maybe people are gonna think I'm a criminal now because I took the guy's belt through an entry but he was a

Unknown Speaker 48:01

jerk. He wouldn't drive me drunk. No, he

Holly Harte 48:05

wouldn't. Like he promised me things she couldn't you know? I was 20 Okay, fair, I was a baby. And very reckless and wild at the time. So. But otherwise, all of my other sex in my life has been quite normal.

Jenna Love 48:22

Sure. Okay, my my other festive sex story was wedding, our wedding. So I'm looking at Mr. Love to see if he knows what story I'm going to tell. No, he does not the night before our wedding. We had all of that we called them carnies. But they were what you would call like bridesmaids and groomsmen are a little group so it was me and my now husband and all our best mates and basically we all stayed at my mum and dad's house. They had a much larger house and lots of bedding options. So we all stayed there the night before and then we had to go to the venue to set up early in the morning. So you know the night before obviously being me I had issued everyone schedules everyone had little packs and everyone knew what they had to do it at any given time and all of that and one of my friends one of our Connie's she is a very I haven't seen her for years it would not surprise me if I found out that she had been given a diagnosis as being on the spectrum she was very you know we do things by the letter which I love and big fan of that I can't remember what the timings were but we had to wake up at say seven 7am or whatever so Mr. Love and I not then Mr. Love he was fiance love or whatever at the time technically I don't understand that these things were so we were working on it was the morning of our fucking wedding so obviously we started having sex and cuz you know like that's that's not like its peak. Vermette like job I don't think I think technically it's like you're not supposed to

Holly Harte 49:55

I think you supposed to spend the night in separate rooms Yeah,

Jenna Love 49:57

but that's fucking weird. So obviously we didn't do that. So, yeah, so we started having, but if people knew you were in the same room, you would expect that they might be having sex. Yeah, exactly. You would. Yeah, you would, I would have said is not well, you won't have sex and you would expect. expect everyone to have sex all the time. Anyway. So we were like, maybe it was like, 10 past seven or something. So we were running slightly behind schedule. And this friend of mine, like knocks on the door, and we're doing you know, we respond with those. Yep, yep. Just, yep. Just a minute. You know, that voice. But she's quiet, really didn't get up. Didn't get the hens. And I think she's quite like she also. I mean, I know at that time, she was, I think maybe 25 ish, had never had sex had never, I don't even know if she's really kissed a boy like, so. pretty clueless about that sort of thing. So then she opens the door, she said, and it's all it's quite dark, you know? So she's standing in the door. We're literally mid coitus. And we're just like, yep, we'll just be there. We'll just be a second. And she's like, it's 710. Guys, it's where it's 710. You know, and

Unknown Speaker 51:05

we're like, Uh huh. It's all good. We're just Yep.

Jenna Love 51:08

No worries, baby.

Unknown Speaker 51:09

And she's like,

Jenna Love 51:10

Oh, I just so you know, it just went on and on. Well, it

Unknown Speaker 51:13

felt like forever. I'm

Jenna Love 51:14

sure it wasn't that long, you know? Anyway, so eventually she leaves and we're just like, Jesus Christ. Just let us have a fuck on our fucking wedding day. Like, it's anyway, what was quite amusing was that later on, we told her what happened? She had no idea. She didn't pick up on a thing. She was like, We were literally fucking at that moment. His dick was inside my pussy. And she was she had no idea.

Holly Harte 51:36

Like you. So I'm, I'm assuming you didn't really get the mood was lost in that mode.

Jenna Love 51:42

Or there wasn't like I don't even know if there was much mood. I think we just woke up like we're gonna get married today. Let's have a quick talk. Like it wasn't a big romantic thing.

Holly Harte 51:48

Can I? Really personal question because you know, I love those. Okay. After the wedding and the the massive events of a wedding day, which is so exhausting can be such a long day.

Unknown Speaker 51:57

Did you guys

Holly Harte 51:58

do the sex? Um, yeah, we

Jenna Love 51:59

didn't have sex. Actually. We did. We talked about that. And we went. Because we thought like we were we were absolutely exhausted. So, so tired. And we kind of talked about it. And we were like, do you want to have sex and like, I'm pretty tired. And we were like, Yeah, but let's just do a demo.

Unknown Speaker 52:16

We'd like let's just do

Jenna Love 52:17

it. Anyway, I approve. So we did that in our own bed. That's where we were that night. We went back to our own bed. What actually was my own bed at my parents place, but it was my you know, my childhood bed. So but yeah, now we did we figured which got married. Like why not? We spent all day celebrating how fucking great the two of us are. Let's do it. All I remember is my head because I had one of course it and my head this. The red marks all over my body. Sorry, don't remember the SEC. Remember that? Wow, I remember we were tired. And as we do I remember us being like, yeah, we're really tired. So we're not really talking about Christmas anymore. But we're still talking about

Unknown Speaker 53:02

festivities of sex. Yeah, celebration. Yeah, etc.

Jenna Love 53:05

I feel like you have a game for me. I do have a game for you. We're going to end things with a fun little game that Holly just came up with 30 minutes or just before we started recording. I have

Holly Harte 53:21

some films synopsis here. I have two porn films and a real Christmas film. And I'd like you to guess which one is saying

Jenna Love 53:29

that porn films aren't real films. Porn work is real work. Yeah, true. Yes, is the

Holly Harte 53:37

non porn film. So you have to guess which one is the? The

Jenna Love 53:43

the not porno? Yeah. Okay. Okay.

Holly Harte 53:46

Actually, let me just lightly edit this.

Jenna Love 53:49

Okay, well, what I'll do in the meantime. So Holly was looking up Christmas porno Synopsys for this little game, and I was like, Oh, I'll play the game too. But I just failed and wasn't able to play the game. But I did find this one synopsis which was really involved. And I just thought I might do a dramatic reading of it. Because why

Unknown Speaker 54:09

not? Dad?

Jenna Love 54:16

Intern Music Oh, thank you. It's Christmas time. A calm, peaceful time full of expectation. The quiet strains of Jingle Bells mix with the pleasant smells of homemade sweets. Father decorates the Christmas tree and his daughter Jane helps him. The other daughter Hannah plays the violin. Unfortunately, her music is dreadful. You can hardly bear to listen to it. Even her mother's smile disappears. Only the maid as maids do has an unreadable face. They all fast you have to fast on Christmas Day. Otherwise, how could you see a dancing Fair? Hurry. But Jane is willful and cannot resist the tray of sweets. And the maid when the young lady permits even offers her son, but Hannah notices, and why shouldn't she tell her father about their misbehaviour? Jane's upbringing can't be neglected even if it is Christmas. And if the flexible whistling rod can change the daughter's mind, why shouldn't it work on the maid? So both the sweet girls get their punishment, and the naked bottoms suffer some real beating. And that's not all. The mother does her bit too. She gives the girls a proper enema. It's insertion in their whipped bottoms make a great impression.

Holly Harte 55:44

What's a lovely Christmas day.

Jenna Love 55:47

But Jane plots revenge. And you'll learn in the movie what she and the maid prepare for her sister. We can only reveal that Hannah doesn't escape a proper beating with the rod either. And that's not all. She has to pee in the potty. And after the beating and then the heated ginger root comes into play. Well, imagine how much it stings. how humbling it is to kneel like this in front of the others. Our most ordinary Christmas in an urban family. Don't you think it's worth seeing it? We wish you a pleasant time watching the movie and a quote. Merry Christmas feast. Close quote. I don't know why that's in quotation marks. The DVD version includes exclusive gallery and interviews with actresses before and after caning and that is the plot of the Christmas quiet doesn't even make sense. There are some good names I liked electro sluts electro slats Christmas and spreading joy Do you get it? Because it's her name's Joy fuck me like an elf. I don't know what the traditional way of being fucked like an elf is but oh electro slats to Christmas slot take down. All I want for Christmas is a gangbang relatable or Christmas Eva. Get it again. It's her name's Eva. There's lots of xx Xmas which come on try a bit harder guys. Try a bit all stuffing her stockings and see what they did their new black cheerleader search 11 Doesn't seem Christmas related. Oh, surfer granny does Christmas. That's got some that's combined themes. Christmas at Tiffany's. That's cute. That's cute. Her name's Tiffany. Mrs. Claus hires an elf escort. That's good. I'm actually promoting hiring escorts. Oh, I won't say that one out loud. It's fun. It's a Christmas episode.

Unknown Speaker 57:56

Well, I'm waiting for her to finish. Guess which

Holly Harte 57:59

one is not a porno. Okay. Eric, and Carrie gather to be with her gravely ill father and his living made during the holiday season, a group of mysterious guests begin to arrive claiming to be their father's friends. One by one the guests are murdered, who will survive.

Jenna Love 58:17

Okay, so I'm going to bring you in on my thought process. Made. That's a that's a trope. You know, that is a That's a sexy thing. Death tends to be less sexy. But there is that thrill. There's the you know, so that's where I'm at.

Holly Harte 58:35

A woman escapes the city in favour of her small hometown, finding herself falling for a rancher. But he's not what he seems.

Jenna Love 58:44

Is that it? That's it. Oh, definitely could be a partner. Definitely.

Holly Harte 58:50

Veronica will stop at nothing to get her way, which includes shooting her business partner just days before Christmas. Ethan's ex girlfriend suspects she's up to no good and plots a scheme in order to expose their corrupt boss

Jenna Love 59:05

God. All of the death. I didn't. Yeah, wouldn't have thought that there'd be so much murder involved in Bourne. Oh, fuck. I feel like the middle one is so like there's just not much to go off there.

Holly Harte 59:21

I can really get synopsis therapy like high powered music executive is so desperate to sign the latest internet sensation to his label that he agrees to accompany his sister to a country wedding just to get the chance to meet him. But he also meets a beautiful small town girl.

Jenna Love 59:38

Oh, I don't I'm not good at this. I really feel like any of them could be pornos, and any of them could be not partners.

Holly Harte 59:46

That's the fun.

Jenna Love 59:47

That is the fun. That is the fun whenever there's desperate if there's the word desperate involved, that always makes me think of porn. Because it's always like what would you do to get what you want? You know? Hmm, I think the first one is not a porno.

Holly Harte 1:00:07

That is porno survived the night

Unknown Speaker 1:00:11

that shouldn't be a porn. Oh that sounds interesting. I feel like we should all get a copy maybe we should have a viewing body we could do like a watch party.

Jenna Love 1:00:20

Okay, okay then my next guess is the second one the rancher you be correct

Holly Harte 1:00:30

not the corner not the porters that was called hometown holiday is a cheesy you know falling in love going back to your hometown

Jenna Love 1:00:39

because terrible The other thing the porno maybe other yeah with the

Holly Harte 1:00:43

the corrupt boss is a cold night in December which is a porno.

Unknown Speaker 1:00:48

Yeah. Wow. I had no idea that was

Holly Harte 1:00:51

so many might matter. Yes. Really?

Jenna Love 1:00:54

Yeah. The only porno I've ever watched like proper movie was Buffy the Vampire Slayer because a huge Buffy Stan Yeah, I think we got like we got a few scenes like we really tried. Yeah, we got a few scenes into it. And then we were like, Okay, well, we need to stop now.

Holly Harte 1:01:10

I did a system Jesse James pirates. I watched that one which is digital playground I think and Debbie does Dallas I sat down with the bullish on time and watch that from start to finish. It was great. The Bush the themes. She's fucking a candle maker at one point. His name? I can't remember. Anyway, there's a name in the candle maker and Debbie does Dallas that is so good. It's like Mr. Hart something and I just love these things so well. Look at Mr. Love the poor boy on the internet. Anyway, Mr. Hardwick and I just it seems so cheesy and typical porn, but it was really cute and made me laugh. Lovely. Yeah, otherwise, I'm not much of a porn girl.

Jenna Love 1:01:54

Well, I think that that brings us to the end of our very strange Christmas episode is really

Holly Harte 1:01:59

cool episode. If you loved it. Tell us tell us how great it was. So that Jenna lets us do more unhinged.

Jenna Love 1:02:05

Holly said Yeah, because that was. That was Holly's brainchild.

Holly Harte 1:02:10

The whole episode. And you know what they say this Christmas? Where? Holly?

Unknown Speaker 1:02:15

Yeah, Christmas Holly. thing. Yeah, that's the thing. That is brilliant.

Jenna Love 1:02:19

Are you saying it to me? No, I do it. Well, it just occurred to me. Obviously. You don't really get Christmas Jenelle Do you? If you're lucky. You do if you're lucky. You get Christmas, Jenna. Yeah, no, Jenna doesn't do anything on Christmas. She is lazy.

Holly Harte 1:02:34

Let's talk tongues.

Holly Harte 1:02:40

Thanks for joining us. We love you and we appreciate you bearing with all of our weird experimentations

Unknown Speaker 1:02:47

Yeah, yeah. Bye bye.

Jenna Love 1:02:54

Please look out for us on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and Patreon. Our name everywhere is somebody you pod as in podcast. Our Patreon started just $3 a month, and you can get all of our episodes ad free and a day early. Plus bonus episodes behind the scenes action, bloopers and more. Thank you for taking the time to listen to the voices of sex workers. And remember, somebody you love might just be a sex worker.

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