This week Holly & Jenna share all the things they do with their clients that AREN’T sex. We’re talking about cuddles & chats, social bookings & dinner dates, kinks & slaves. Our misconception is that people with kinks must be weirdos, an acquaintance of Holly’s reveals her whorephobia, and we talk about our feelings surrounding younger clients.
Scarlet Alliance Emergency Relief Fund: https://chuffed.org/project/sex-worker-support
3:00 Main Segment: Pooping in Tupperware & on camera
46:53 Misconception: people with kinks must be weirdos
51:53 Shit People Say: ’You might have to get a real job’
55:25 Question of the Week: How do you both feel about younger clients?
SWOP NSW’s website: https://swop.org.au/
SWOP NSW on Facebook: www.facebook.com/SexWorkersOutreachProject/
SWOP NSW on Twitter: www.twitter.com/SWOPnsw
Patreon (from $3AUD/month): http://www.patreon.com/somebodyyoupod
Somebody You Love is sponsored by Assembly Four, empowering sex workers through technology: https://assemblyfour.com/
For more info on sex work in Australia, please check out the following organisations:
ACT (SWOP ACT): https://meridianact.org.au/swop/
NSW (SWOP NSW): https://swop.org.au/
NT (SWOP NT): https://www.ntahc.org.au/swopnt
Qld (Respect Inc): https://respectqld.org.au/
SA (SIN): http://www.sin.org.au/sindex.html
Tas (Scarlet Alliance): https://scarletalliance.org.au/links/
Vic (Vixen Collective): https://www.vixencollective.org/vc
WA (Magenta): http://magenta.org.au
Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/somebodyyoupod
Jenna Love 0:02
COVID-19 has had a significant impact on the sex industry. And snap lock downs and travel restrictions mean that there are times when sex workers require emergency financial relief in order for them and their dependents to stay safe, housed and fed.
Holly Harte 0:16
Sex workers don't get sick or holiday pay and many have no savings to fall back on. The stigma and discrimination that we face means that some have no proof of earnings to access government support. And of course, migrant workers are often forgotten
Jenna Love 0:28
Scarlet Alliance and their state and territory member organisations joined together to create an ongoing fund that is hosted on the website chuffed that's c-h-u-f-f-e-d.
Holly Harte 0:39
Donations are tax deductible, 100% of funds raised go directly to sex workers in need. And most weeks the amount of people appling outweigh the amount of funds raised and sadly people have to be turned away. The link to this fund is in our show notes.
Jenna Love 0:56
Welcome to Somebody You Love, or, the sale of two titties. I'm Jenna Love.
Holly Harte 1:04
And I'm Holly Harte.
Jenna Love 1:06
And we're experts in disappointing our parents, breaching community guidelines and banging the people who vote against our rights.
Holly Harte 1:15
Before we begin today, we'd like to acknowledge that Holly, me, is recording on the land of the Ngunnawal people, and Jenna is recording on the land of the Darug and Gundungurra peoples.
Jenna Love 1:25
As usual, it's really important for us to say that we are not able to speak on behalf of the entire sex working community, we have a lot of privileges that not everybody does. And so we're speaking from our own experience. And it's important to keep in mind that the sex working community is incredibly diverse. And we are not representative of it.
Holly Harte 1:46
As always, the show will discuss adult themes, today, they may be a little bit more out there as well. So definitely a reminder that if you are not an adult, or if you need an adult, you better sort that out.
Jenna Love 1:59
Yeah, I think based on the title of this episode, you can determine whether it's for your stomach or not. If you're enjoying the show, it would be really awesome if you went on to Apple podcasts and left us a review. And if you rated the show five stars, if you're not enjoying the show, just ignore what I've said and don't go do that. That would be our preference. Thank you.
Holly Harte 2:21
If you're not enjoying it, definitely keep listening, though. Keep building up our views, our listens, you know, support our advertisers. That's all fine. You don't have to like us, that's fine.
Jenna Love 2:30
Yeah, but just don't tell anyone that you don't like us. Thanks. And it's super helpful to follow us on social media. We're on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, our handle is @somebodyyoupod as in podcast, we also have a Patreon, where if you sign up for $3 a month you get access to every episode early and without ads, and the tiers go up from there. And there's a whole bunch of fun other goodies you can access.
Holly Harte 3:00
Today we're discussing unconventional types of bookings, we're going to go through a range of different arrangements or or interactions that we've had during our time in the industry. And we're starting off with non sexual bookings. Even though our job is called sex work, sometimes there's no sex at all.
Jenna Love 3:17
Yeah, even though like, I'm really passionate about the term 'sex work', and I know both you and I have pulled people up on it before and, and made sure that we are called sex workers because that is the preferred term. Every now and then I go, oh, it is a little bit misleading because our job doesn't necessarily involve sex, and certainly not in the traditional view of what sex might be. I still think it's appropriate. We're still working in the adult industry and we're still sex adjacent. Sometimes I think like a more appropriate title would be 'intimacy work', but that's the lamest thing that's ever come out of my mouth. So like, I'm not fighting for that. But I think maybe it is a bit more accurate. But anyway,
Holly Harte 3:56
That's why I tend to prefer 'escort' or 'companion', I feel like they are a little bit more vague without specifying sex, necessarily. But look, I feel it feels a little bit wanky sometimes to say, 'ooooh, escort, I prefer the word escort or companion', you know, fine.
Jenna Love 4:12
I actually hate those terms, because they're euphemisms. And I think they cause a lot of confusion. But this is a whole other conversation.
Holly Harte 4:19
Jenna Love 4:19
But yeah, I think like the amount of people I've spoken to, and I've been like, 'I'm a sex worker', and they're like, 'What does that mean?' And I'll be like, 'Oh, you might be familiar with like the term escort'. And they literally go, 'Oh, so you, like, go out to dinner with men?' And I'm like, 'Ah, sometimes, but I mean, I have sex with them'. I've literally had people say to me, 'No, no, no, escorts don't have sex with their clients'. And I'm like, 'Ha ha ha, okay, honey'. Alright. So that's why I don't like those times because I think that they can... but anyway, look, that's a whole other. That's a whole other topic about language. But I think something that surprises a lot of people. For me anyway, in my experience, a lot of the bookings I've had that have been non sexual. bookings have been from younger clients, often people in their 20s. I get less of the purely nonsexual bookings from older clients. And I think sometimes people might be surprised by that. Especially clients themselves. Like I get a lot of older clients who say to me, oh, I must be easier for you than like the young guys that just want to fuck the whole time. And I'm like, actually, I find older people want to do more fucking than younger people a lot of the time. I mean, everyone's different. But yeah.
Holly Harte 5:29
That is interesting to me, because that is not my experience at all. I don't think specifically, I find that older clients tend to engage in in less sexual bookings. But for me, it seems to be pretty evenly spread across the board. So it's very interesting that that's your experience. One of the non sexual bookings that I offer, which I'm going to say I'm pretty well known for, but that makes me sound like a bit of a wanker. I think one of my non sexual bookings that most of my clients know about and some of my Twitter followers is Snuggle Sundays. A few years ago, I noticed that Sundays were my quietest day of work. And I still wanted to do bookings. But I didn't want to do anything that meant that I was going to be burnt out or overworked by by cramming something into that day. So I decided snuggle Sundays would be a really fun way to do that. I'm certainly not acting like they're, you know, I'm, I've come up with something that never existed before. I'm sure people have done this in various iterations over the years. But the way I sort of thought of doing things was having intimate sessions that were fully clothed and non sexual. So this means that it could be sitting down and playing board games together, playing video games on the couch and snuggling up together, or even just going into the bedroom and lying together and having a cuddle. So I offer these sessions at a reduced rate than my usual full service sessions. And I was surprised how popular they've become. It turns out that a lot of people want to spend time with someone else in not necessarily a sexual way. But just having company and close physical contact, which has been really, really nice. And because of the reduced rate, it has allowed people to book many hours and to stay for a whole afternoon. And it gives me a chance to do something different. Obviously, I love sex, and I love getting naked and doing naughty things. But I also really like to just be in the company of someone else and do some fun activities together. And it still contributes obviously, to my financial wellbeing which is, is also equally important. So yeah, that's actually a massive thing that I offer that that took off more than I ever expected.
Jenna Love 7:24
So in my whole sex work career, I have always had a flat rate for all of my bookings. So whether somebody wants to spend an hour having sex with me, or they want to spend an hour sitting across the table from me talking, it costs them the same. So as a result, I think I get fewer nonsexual bookings than a lot of other workers, because many other workers will will make non sexual bookings at a cheaper rate, which absolutely makes sense. But it goes a little bit against my philosophy in terms of intimacy. But something I do get a lot is people who don't want to do anything sexual in the first booking, but who are looking to probably do something sexual in maybe the second or the third booking. So generally, with these people, we stay fully clothed in the first booking, sometimes there's a bit of kissing, not always, and in my experience, these people are either somebody who might identify as demisexual, and somebody who needs to get to know somebody before they are attracted to them in a sexual way. And also a lot of younger people who are, you know, quite inexperienced, sexually, who have a lot of nerves and you know, lots of stuff going on around the whole sex thing. And they do just want to feel comfortable with somebody, they want to know that they're not being judged. They want to know that they're, you know, that they're safe, and they're able to be themselves with me. And it's kind of akin to dating. Basically, I've discovered that they kind of want to have like a first date where we don't, you know, quote, unquote, go all the way. When I posted on our Instagram asking for, like common misconceptions around the sex industry. Somebody anonymously submitted, saying their misconception was that asexual or demisexual people aren't clients of sex workers. And I think that's that's really spot-I thought that was really kind of astute and not something I'd really thought about before, but I've had plenty of clients who would describe themselves as asexual or demisexual. And I've had clients who, you know, may not describe themselves that way but who have trauma around sex, around specific sexual activities. People who you know, certainly have romantic feelings, but less you know, that are romantic, but asexual, and then I've also had people who are kind of aromantic but who still are looking for connections with another person.
Holly Harte 9:43
I've definitely had that experience too. I have- ah a few of them. Mostly they become regulars because they like a uh, like as you said, to build that connection. Sometimes they build up to sex and sometimes they just never do. That's not the end goal for them. As with most of our clients, the broader idea is is intimacy in general. And however they want to approach that in whatever time frame is entirely up to them. I also offer social bookings, which means that they're more of the outdoors sort of things or or not at home cuddled up, you go out to restaurants or go and do activities together, things like that. I usually do charge a lower rate than my full service fee for that. And usually, they're a really fun time. In my experience. I try not to do them too regularly. Because obviously, there's a whole issue of prioritising what is the most lucrative work that's just part of running a business. And so it's more important to me to do more full service bookings where I can, but every now and then it is really fun to go out with a client and do something different.
Jenna Love 10:45
Yeah I love social bookings. I don't- as I said, they're the same rate for me, so I think I get fewer, because people are like, 'Oh, that's expensive'. And I'm like, 'Yeah, I am expensive'. But I love doing them. I really look forward to them. There's that variety. And and some some clients come up with really fun ideas. And even just yeah, going out to a restaurant or something like I love the that banter at the restaurant, the bit of the flirting, and then you go back to the room later. Like, that's all really sexy. And they really, they're fun for us to do something a bit different. But yeah, it's it is about prioritising because that's, that's one of the reasons why I don't charge less for social bookings. Because I'm like, well, I could fill that spot with a more expensive booking, I could earn more money in that time. So it just doesn't make sense for me to charge less for the same amount of time.
Holly Harte 11:35
Yeah, it definitely does come down to balance in that regard. And so it's not something I could do full time, while also trying to afford a mortgage in the ACT, which is, which is my dream. So that's, that's rough. So yeah, I've been to quite a few restaurants, I've done other activities with clients, a really fun booking that I did with a client was going to the zoo for a whole day and evening. So he was staying at the Jamala Lodge in Canberra, which means that he got the room for the whole day, we went and did some animal tours together, we got a three course dinner, time in the bedroom, and all that sort of stuff. And we look, the sexual activity was very minimal. We did certainly indulge in a little bit because hey, while you're there, why not. But for the most part, the experience was just us hanging out together, getting to know each other, and doing some really fun activities with each other. And that was just a blast.
Jenna Love 12:27
I feel like we've all received questions from potential clients saying, 'Oh, is it weird if we just hang out? Or is it okay, if we don't have sex?' I see this posted on Reddit all the time people being like, 'Oh, would it be weird if I asked a provider just to, you know, just to cuddle the whole time?'. And look, there may be some providers out there who aren't comfortable with that I cannot speak for everyone, of course. But I think it's like, a lot of our marketing is geared towards the sex side of sex work. Because that's, you know, well, sex sells, that's where the money is, all of that. And we have to put out a very sexy image a lot of the time. I love all of that sort of stuff. And I just wish potential clients knew that it's not at all unusual to not want to have sex or to have very, like, it's quite common to just want to have like a, you know, 10 minutes of sex. And then the rest of it is, is cuddling or chatting. And there are also people who book us like, not even for intimacy in a in a sensual, romantic sense, but just in a connecting with another human being way. Like, I have a regular client who, some bookings, we will have sex and some bookings, we're just hanging out like mates. Like it's not even a romantic hangout, if that makes sense. Because of my flat rate thing, I never know beforehand what we're going to do. So sometimes I go in there thinking, I'm going to be having all this sex, and then we're just chatting. And I kind of go to initiate and he's like, 'No, not today'. And I'm like, oh, okay, cool, whatever. So I can see the value in differentiating your bookings for some workers, so that they know what to expect. And they can prepare accordingly. Like that makes perfect sense. But I'm pretty good with the flow. And I like to just rock up and see what feels right. And I think as a result, I have a few clients who don't want to prepare what's going to happen beforehand. They want to rock up and see if they're in the mood or not. And I guess that's an expensive way of doing it. But if you can afford it, it's, I like that approach to intimacy because we're having a good time. If they feel horny, I can go along with that, if they don't, I can go along with that. And I like that.
Holly Harte 14:36
It's definitely not unusual at all. It's a, it's a very common thing that a lot of us have seen and a lot of us have done these bookings and it's not weird, and we actually for the most part, have a great time. Once again, we can't speak for everyone but most of the sex workers I know would love to just hang out for the time so definitely don't feel awkward about asking for it. One of my favourite clients is coming over when lockdowns are finished, to just cuddle and have a snooze, have a nap. Because I don't offer overnight bookings. And so I don't really share that with anyone. And so this client is just going to come over. We're going to set aside a few hours and just nap, have afternoon naps together, which will be really cute.
Jenna Love 15:15
Oh my god, I love afternoon naps together. That is brilliant.
Holly Harte 15:19
It's gonna be so nice. There's a, look, there's a possibility we might, we might have a quick root here or there. But the main goal of it is to, is to have cuddles and nap together, which is really intimate and nice.
Jenna Love 15:32
So for the first time ever, this year, I started offering separate services for social versus sexual things. So with my video calls this year, I started offering purely social video calls where we, you know, we both stay fully clothed, and we just chat and it's very chill. And I've also started offering an add-on to that, where they can get like, I can do a bit of a striptease, we can masturbate together, it can be a sexual call. Now on the one hand, the social ones are cheaper. So that might sway the statistics a little bit. But what I've been surprised by is that the social calls for me have been far more popular than the sexual ones. And I think that speaks a lot to the way we're all feeling during the pandemic, and particularly people who are stuck in lockdown for longer periods of time. I think it speaks to the real drive for intimacy and human connection, which I've always said is at the heart of sex work. And even in the sexual bookings, usually, there's a fair bit of chat as well, like that's a big part of it. So yeah, I think it's just interesting to note that the, the social bookings are a bit cheaper. So that might be a factor. But they've also been very popular. And I guess, I mean, you've been doing video calls that are purely social, haven't you?
Holly Harte 16:54
Absolutely. Last year, I didn't do any digital content or virtual sessions or anything like that, because our lockdown was a lot more relaxed. This year, lockdown in Canberra was very tough. And this delta variant is a lot more threatening in my eyes. So working wasn't an option, I was very lucky enough to be eligible for the disaster payment in Canberra, so I have had some income coming in, but not really enough. So I thought doing virtual sessions was a nice way to just help supplement my income a little bit, help cover a little more of the bills during lockdown. And also give me a way to connect with people while I wasn't able to physically touch and and be close to people, especially as someone who's single, who lives alone, that gave me a feeling of continuity, and still being connected to people. I don't like to do much sexually in that regard. Because it just feels like a lot of pressure doing it over the phone and or via zoom. It's just daunting to me. It's not something that I mentally am really prepared for. So I've just been offering just social dates. And it's been incredibly popular. It's taken off far more than I thought it would have. I thought it would just be a couple of people doing a tokenistic chat to me, because they thought 'Oh, poor Holly, she needs a bit of money, I guess I'll chat to her'. But people have really seemed to enjoy hanging out with me online. And that has been incredibly touching and humbling. And I feel so special that people have wanted as well not just my company but also to contribute to my position during lockdown and to help me with bills and stuff but they also get something out of that connection that I get and it's a mutual enjoyment, that feels massive.
Jenna Love 18:37
Yeah, I don't know, I imagine you've had the same experience where I've logged on to see a regular that I haven't seen in a few months because we've been locked down. And I, for the first few months of this lockdown, I didn't offer virtual services because I was in a little depression potato hole. So I hadn't connected with these people in a while. And then they pop up on the screen and I'm like, 'Fuck! I've really missed you! I haven't seen you for ages' and we get to catch up. And I'm like 'How's this going? How's that going?' and and you know, it's that thing of like, these are people that while, yes, the relationship is is a paid for relationship, these are people that I see and that I connect with and that I have, you know naked times with and I know about their lives and I, so you know we have a connection, we have a relationship, whatever that relationship is, it exists. And I've just found it really nice to actually be able to chat to them. I've gotten a lot out of that as well.
Holly Harte 19:30
Yeah, every time that their face pops up, I am, my face lights up. I'm like, 'Oh my gosh!', like I get really excited. This burst of endorphins runs through me. I've also met a lot of people that I otherwise wouldn't, particularly because I am a non-touring worker. I only meet clients from Canberra or from places that they've driven or come interstate, you know, just overnight. I very rarely get to meet people from all over Australia but this has given me a chance to chat to people I've maybe been talking to on Twitter for a long time that I haven't actually got to meet. And that's been so cool, is finally putting a face and a personality and energy and a soul to someone I've been chatting with online for ages. And now that grows this connection that, then I see their name pop up and I go, 'Oh, that's Adam. He's lovely'. And that's really cool.
Jenna Love 20:20
I am, I was on this panel yesterday. And I if I think of it, I'll leave a link to it in the show notes because it was all about it was called Digital intimacies. And it was all about intimacy, you know, and technology and the way that they intersect, and there was a psychologist speaking, and she said that she's had quite a similar experience. So I brought up the fact that one of the great things about offering video calls or phone calls and stuff like that has been that it's been a really great stepping stone for a lot of people who have probably been following sex workers on social media for a while, they've probably googled it a bit, all of that, they've thought about it, but it's actually really, really daunting to book a sex worker. And I feel like I can say that, because I've seen my husband go through the process of booking a sex worker, even though it was me being like, 'Do it, go, do it!'. But I've seen that it's quite nerve wracking. And so and it is, it's so like, especially when you see these glossy photos, it's really scary to be like, 'Hello, I would like to have sex with you', you know, it's full on. So doing a video, I've had quite a few people who were like, 'Look, I've followed you for years, but I don't know if I have the balls to like, have a booking with you'. But they want to have a 15 minute chat and just see if they can feel that connection, see if they feel comfortable. See if if it's something that they could conceivably do. And this psychologist said she's found the exact same thing with people accessing mental health resources, that it seems really scary to book in an appointment with a psychologist. But there's been this, and for me, I mean, I haven't seen my psychologist since the pandemic began. Because doing a video call, that actually puts me off, like I want to be in person. But she was saying, for a lot of people, it feels more accessible. And they go, 'Oh, yeah, I'll just stay in my room, turn my laptop on and have a chat' and that it's been a good stepping stone for them. So that's nice.
Holly Harte 22:07
I had a video call with someone the other day who said that they've seen my ad around for years. And they've never booked me because they thought I was really high class and posh and fancy. And I was like, 'me???'
Jenna Love 22:19
Where the hell did they get that idea?
Holly Harte 22:22
I guess I need to do a photo shoot of me and my hoodie and trackies and like just more showing just how casual and bogan I am. But a combination of the podcast but also having an opportunity to have a chat the other day and see that real side of me that's not photoshopped pictures and, you know, perfectly worded copy on my advertising and just having a genuine connection, really helped to humanise me and make me feel more approachable to him. And we realised that we'd have a great time together. So that's been massive as well. I spoke to my psychiatrist a week or two ago, and I told her that during the lockdown, this is what I've been doing. And she was blown away. She was shook. She was like, 'What do you mean? How have you been doing your job by zoom?' Like she just couldn't get her head around it.
Jenna Love 23:08
Well she has too!
Holly Harte 23:08
Right? We were, we were talking on zoom. It's like 'The same way that you and I are'. And when I sort of explained it to her she was, she said, 'Oh yeah, that makes total sense. And that's really great for people that would have been a really handy thing for a lot of people to connect to'. And I said 'Yes, it's also been wonderful for me'. And then when I spoke to my GP a few days later, she said, 'Oh, in your notes here, your psychiatrist has said you've been doing zoom from home for your job. And like that's so cool. And can you tell me more'. So my health professionals are fascinated by the way that technology and intimacy and connection are all being intertwined. Obviously, it's something that's become a massive thing in their jobs during the pandemic, but also seeing how it's happening for a lot of jobs, including the sex industry, I guess is is amazing, not just for us as sex workers. But for a lot of people.
Holly Harte 23:58
Then there are also sexual bookings without PIV, which is 'penis in vagina' sex. Even when there is sexual stuff, the definition is pretty broad and often doesn't even include conventional sexual intercourse, quote, unquote.
Jenna Love 24:13
Yeah, I think this is a sticking point for me. I've had a couple of sort of arguments, which as we all know, I don't mind a good argument. But with people who have tried to book me and who have said, 'I don't want to have intercourse with you', like essentially saying, I don't want to put my penis in your vagina. And I've been like, 'Yeah, okay, cool. So it's the same price'. And they're like, 'Yeah, but I don't want, I don't wanna have intercourse'. I'm like, 'okay, that's cool. Yep'. And they're like, 'so is it cheaper?', I'm like, 'No, no,', and they're like, 'I don't think you understand. I don't wanna put my penis in-' and I'm like, 'Oh, I understand. It's just not cheaper'. And, I mean, there are so many problems with that. One of which is, I have clients who don't have penises, so they are not putting their non existent penis in my vagina, obviously, and nobody that doesn't have a penis has ever expected to get a discount because they don't have a penis. So somebody who does have a penis, thinking that they can get a discount, because they have one but aren't going to use it, or aren't going to put it inside my body is just stupid. It's just like, I'm not gonna say anything profound about that it's just stupid. And to suggest that somebody who doesn't want to have PIV sex with me, but who wants me to give them a blowjob for an hour, to think that that should cost less is absurd, because I don't know if you've ever given a blow job for an hour, but that is fucking hard work. And this, this goes into my whole philosophy of paying for my time, not for specific sex acts. And there may well be providers out there who, who do charge different rates, if there isn't PIV sex, for instance. And there's a whole range of reasons why they might want to do that. And that's totally a valid strategy. But assuming that because there isn't sexual intercourse in the strictest sense, that that means that it's it's cheaper is a bit gross, and, and really weird, and just shows a real lack of understanding of our work.
Holly Harte 26:07
I have quite a few clients where most of the session is taken up by just quiet close cuddling, and kissing and chatting. And the climax of the sexual experience is a handjob. And that's it. And that is enough, and it's exciting for them. And that's for many reasons. I mean, I obviously don't have to explain all the reasons why that would be. But sometimes there are issues with, you know, erection, maintaining erections, or getting erections, or sensitivity issues or things like, you know, a condom might make them- they're used to having different sorts of sex, without a condom with a partner or something. And so you know, it's just more effective to to give them a handjob. Or just because it bloody feels good when somebody wraps their hand around your cock and rubs it, that's what it comes down to. And if that's what they enjoy, that's great. But it's actually really common, I think, you know, you sometimes get guys say, I just want a hand job. And it's, a lot of my clients just get hand jobs. And that's part of the experience. And I hope that you enjoy the handjob. And it's a great time, and we do all the rest of the things that make us feel good in the session. But there's certainly no pressure or expectation or anything, that means that you're less-than if you don't want to actually have sex. It's very normal.
Jenna Love 27:19
I don't think I had ever given a handjob before I entered the sex industry. And I remember the first time my client was like, 'Oh, can you just give me a hand job?' And I was like, 'I don't know if I know how! Shit!' and I think I figured it out. Probably wasn't the best hand job he's ever had, I'd say. These days I like to think I'm pretty amazing at them. But it's something that, I don't know that's, yeah, I love I love a cuddle with a handjob, I think that's really really nice and intimate.
Holly Harte 27:44
Yeah I really enjoy it too.
Jenna Love 27:45
And it's something that I feel like in the civilian world handies get a really bad name. Like there's, I hear you know, this thing of, 'Oh, why would I do that? I can just do that myself'. There's that kind of attitude towards it. But I think it's a really intimate experience and and yeah, like you I get quite a few clients who that that describes the session really well. I also get quite a few clients who, generally older guys, who are maybe no longer able to get an erection or if they do they, it doesn't maintain itself. And they literally just want to come and spend the whole session fingering, going down on me and making, and touching me and giving me pleasure. And they, like they don't even want me to touch their cock at all. We kiss, normally. Not always. And it literally is just me receiving pleasure, which I'm you know, I couldn't do multiples of that in a day, because that's actually a really full on booking. And this comes back to the thing of it being like 'the PIV is the big exhausting part of it'. Because for me, having penetrative sex would probably be a lot less tiring than having a whole hour of somebody going down on me and pleasing me. I mean that that is more physically exhausting for me. But yeah, that's not an uncommon experience. And often the guys will apologise. And they will be like, 'I'm so sorry. It's just, is it okay, if I, if, I just really enjoy pleasing you. It's not, my thing doesn't work. There's nothing going on there. But I'd really like that' I'm like, there's no need to apologise. And of course, go nuts!
Holly Harte 29:17
I had a young fella come over once, who just wanted practice at going down on a woman and he wanted a bit of feedback and guidance. And he booked a session, we didn't do anything else. He came over, big smile on his face. He went down on me for I don't even remember how long the booking was now. And I sort of gave him a bit of feedback and told him what I liked and what I didn't like and how to, I mean honestly, he was wonderful, straight off the bat, like there was, he didn't need any guidance. And this is actually, I don't know if you'd agree, but for me quite a common thing that a lot of men think that they're not very good at it and I actually go, 'You're actually doing really great! Like, this feels awesome'. And they just sometimes need a bit of practice, but often they don't. Often they're already wonderful at it.
Jenna Love 29:57
But also the ones who think that they're legends tend to be the ones who aren't great.
Holly Harte 30:03
Overconfident. So yeah, and then you know, he, up he got with a big smile on his face and left. And that was the entirety of the booking. So yeah, it's definitely not unheard of.
Jenna Love 30:14
I've done, I do less these days, but in my early days, I did a lot of bookings that were sexual in nature, but not sex in the strictest sense. So I'd describe them as like kink sessions, but I'm certainly not a pro sub, or a pro domme, at all. So they-re sort of a light kink, I guess you could say. I had this client for a couple of years who would turn up at my house, every time he had a bag of tricks. I never knew what to expect. There was some truly bizarre things in there. He's--to be really frank, he was, he was very overweight, and his penis was not really accessible. He was very aware of that. And he was like, "it's physically pretty difficult to get my penis involved". So that's not what he's there for. And he basically would spend the whole time just like putting things in me, watching me put things in myself, telling me to do all sorts of strange things. I tried a bunch of stuff during that period, and after doing it went, "Okay, well, I won't do that again". But it was a good period for experimentation.
Holly Harte 31:19
Was it fun, if not sexually satisfying?
Jenna Love 31:22
Holly Harte 31:23
Jenna Love 31:23
Sometimes. It was--I mean, I like to be able to say that I've done stuff. And so I liked it for that sense. I was like, "well, that happened". I like it for that factor, I guess. So one time, he turns up at my house with a big - we call them witches hats, like traffic cone, like a safety...? You know, the big orange, cylindrical pyramid shaped things?
Holly Harte 31:46
Jenna Love 31:46
Holly Harte 31:47
Jenna Love 31:46
Conical is the word I'm looking for. I opened the door, and he was holding one of those and I was like "oh, rightio". And you know, came inside, and he was like, "well, you're going to sit on that". And I was like, "Yes, well, great". So that was strange. Didn't feel I mean, I certainly didn't, you know, feel sexually pleasurable to me, but whatever. And the funny thing was that then this guy, so he would bring all this stuff. And, and often, like large items, like he would go to Bunnings and get a bunch of things, and then turn up my house, be like "Okay, I'm gonna make this thing". And like, make a thing out of bits of wood and whatever. And then, but he'd be like, "well, I can't take this home" because he's married. So he couldn't take all this shit back to his wife. So he was like, "you'll have to leave it here". And I was like, "Well, okay", so I ended up--when we left that house, actually, I was like, I had this--there was a tiny little ensuite, which was like, full of his shit, basically. And anyway, so that afternoon, my husband came home. And I had left the witch's hat in the middle of the lounge room. And he was like, "babe, what? What's this?" And I was like, "a) I don't think you want to know and b) I think you can figure it out". Like it's pointy, what do you what do you think was going on there?
Jenna Love 31:49
I don't know if that would be my first guess
Jenna Love 33:04
knowing that it had come from a client and that I had done bookings that day.
Holly Harte 33:09
Maybe he wanted you to wear it.
Jenna Love 33:11
I probably would have enjoyed that more actually. And then I was stuck with this fucking like witch's hat in my house. I was like, "what am I suppose to do with that?
Holly Harte 33:18
So while you've done some of the submissive sort of things, I have done quite a few of the domination side of things. Again, disclaimer, I am not at all a pro-domme, I have no experience in that regard. But it's something I don't mind, you know, beating a guy up for money now and then, you know, and we have mentioned before our beloved footstool, that was one of those sessions where there was no actual sexual activity at all. It was just somebody serving us and treating us like the goddesses that we are. And that's wonderful. I also have had a few quote unquote slaves as they like to call themselves who have come over and done tasks for me or driven me to appointments or picked up groceries for me at my request, whatever it is, that they that I feel like on that day, telling them to do various humiliation, things that they're into, or that I decide I'm into, and they have to go along with that's part of the dynamic. Some of them at the end of those sessions would have me step on their cock, and that would send them to completion, or they would just finish from the thrill of the activity itself. So sometimes there was a sexual element involved, but not always. I also had another client who liked to be belittled and humiliated and fucked in the arse with one of my high heels. So that was not conventional sex, but it was definitely sexual for him. Just another wild experience in the variety of things we do.
Jenna Love 33:40
Were you wearing the shoe?
Holly Harte 34:44
No, no, no, I took it off.
Jenna Love 34:46
Holly Harte 34:46
Jenna Love 34:47
But that'd be difficult to-- that'd be more dangerous
Holly Harte 34:50
I mean in general it's quite difficult because if you think about the shape of a heel, it's quite hard to get the angle right up somebody's arse. So yeah, there's quite a variety of things we can do that are not conventional P in V sex or PIV sex that are sexual still in nature.
Jenna Love 35:06
One of the reasons that I think it's useful to use the umbrella term of sex work to describe all different facets of the industry is that so many of us have explored different ways of earning an income within the adult industry. So even though both of us are primarily full-service in-person sex workers, particularly at this point in our lives, we have both explored some different avenues.
Holly Harte 35:31
On more than one occasion, I have sold panties, which is one of those things in the sex industry that's really glamorised and a lot of civilians sort of see content. I've seen it on TikTok and on various TV shows and movies, where people are making a motza out of selling panties. And it's not as common as people think. But there are people out there who actually do it a lot and who do really well at it. Evie Jones is one I know who sells her panties like hotcakes, people snap those things up and why not? She's gorgeous. I have sold panties on quite a few occasions. Usually it's when I've lost a set you know the bra doesn't quite fit or it's you know, become warped or whatever. And so I've got this pair of undies spare and yeah, you get a lot of different requests with them whether they want them worn, or they'd like you to masturbate in them, or even people just buy them clean and that's fine. Because of the nature of me being mostly in-person it usually involves them coming over to my place to pick them up, which I think is exciting in itself. But yeah, that's another little way that is sort of sex work adjacent work.
Jenna Love 36:34
Yeah, I've done a little bit of that as well. It's something that I thought "oh, I might set this up and and get it all going and to really run that as its own business". I found it was sort of more effort than it was worth but similar to you I've had bookings where part of the agreement has been that they're going to they're going to leave with my panties basically. And so that's just like a little add-on kind of thing. And yeah, I quite enjoyed that too. I think that's quite fun. I did have one of my favourite sets of lingerie, the knickers went missing. And to this day, I've never found them and I'm fairly certain that someone stole them. And I will never not be annoyed about that.
Holly Harte 37:12
It used to happen a lot in brothels that clients would walk out with the workers underwear and yeah, that was bullshit.
Jenna Love 37:18
Just aw, man. Like far--that's bullshit. Anyway, I did a video call last year that I found quite unique, where the client beforehand sent me a list of my bikinis because I have a lot of swimwear and lingerie, etc, and it's all over social media. So he had gone through and said "this one, this one, this one. And so can you have all of those ready and I just want to watch you change into them". And I spent--literally the entire video call was him sitting and watching me change. He'd be like, "okay, now could you put like the green one on" and so I'd take what I had on off and put the next one on. I sort of tried to do it in a bit of a sexy way, but it wasn't about it being a striptease, it was just changing bikinis. And we there was a little bit of chatting. Like I was like, you know, "what are you up to?" or whatever. But genuinely 90% of the booking was him watching me change into different swimwear.
Holly Harte 38:18
That's actually really cool. I love that sort of novelty
Jenna Love 38:20
It was reall fun.
Holly Harte 38:21
Yeah, it's something different and really unique. I have a client who likes to purchase my poop. So as we've discussed on the show before I do offer brown showers. This is something that is not for all clients. In fact, it's for a very select few. It's a very niche kink as far as they go. And I know it's not too many people's tastes, so please still think I'm attractive, even though people like my poo
Jenna Love 38:48
Spoiler alert. Holly does poo. She is a woman.
Holly Harte 38:52
Yeah, yeah, n o, I'm human. I'm human. And I do defecate like every other human.
Jenna Love 38:57
So she may as well monetize it.
Holly Harte 38:59
Definitely. So one of my clients on occasion has come over for a booking who usually has any variety of showers that I do. And on this occasion hadn't booked a brown shower, but I said, "Oh, I I think I could go to the toilet. Do you want to--?" and the client said to me, "oh actually, if you could like put in a container?" and that sort of became I think the beginning of this scenario where I would just sell this client containers of my poo. And look, it's not like I boxed them up and keep them for weeks at a time. It's something that sort of just coincides when a bookings coming up and it's in a little takeaway container and in a bag it's like a little Uber Eats and off you go. And yeah, it's very novel. And it's cool.
Jenna Love 39:45
I got to say the first time Holly told me about that I was quite shocked. I hadn't heard of this pooping in Tupperware and and somebody takes it home with them. I was like, "What?" I didn't have any issues with it, but I just thought, yeah, it was, you know, it's rare these days as a sex worker to be surprised by things. And that really surprised me.
Holly Harte 40:07
There's apparently a worker who like freeze dries her poo or something. And she mails it. I don't know if you've heard of this, but I can't remember who it is. And obviously, I'm not going to say it, even if I did. You know, that person may not want that out there. But they, yeah, they mail their poop around the country to various clients who request it was just incredible. I was shocked as well.
Jenna Love 40:27
So it's now it's time for my poop story. So the poop talk is continuing, my apologies. A few years ago, I decided to set up an online store so that I could sell panties, this was around that time, and sell custom content, and you know, Polaroids and things like that. Whenever I offer custom content, I always have a little disclaimer that's like, "hey, please get in contact with me first, before you book in for this, because I need to make sure it is something that I can do for you. And that your expectations are, you know, reasonable". And all of that. Quite quickly after setting up the store. I had somebody contact me and asked if I could poo on film. And I was like, I mean, yeah, why not? Like I I poo all the time. So I--sure I mean, I can film it happening. It's something that happens anyway. And I was so excited because this was my first ever, this is my first inquiry on the online store. And it was my first time taking a custom video request. And I was like, "Fuck yeah, I can do it". I think many sex workers listening will be able to identify with the curse of undercharging when you're new to something. And I can't remember I think for a one minute video, I was charging something like 60 bucks. And I hadn't really thought about if it would be extra if it was kink or anything like that. So it was gonna cost this guy 60 bucks. I was chuffed. I was over the moon about that. I was like, "This is so cool". I told my husband and he was like, "ew". And he was just like, "Alright, if that's something you want to do", and I was like, "Yeah, why not?" And so then, but then I was like, Oh, wait a minute. Like, normally when I go to the toilet, I'm sitting on the toilet, right? And I can't get a camera like in the bowl. And then I was like, Oh shit, okay, hold on. I hadn't really thought it through. And then I went to the hooker brains trust. And I spoke to some sex worker friends. And I was like, does anyone know how to how do I do this? And a couple of pro dommes commented and gave me amazing advice. And somebody suggested that I like put a mirror down on the floor, put Glad Wrap over it, squat over the top of it, and then record it happening. So then you get like the mirror image, you can wrap up the Glad Wrap straightaway. And so that's what I did. I did it on like bin day so that I could immediately put it in our bin and then it would be taken away. Because I just didn't want it like lingering around for too long. As I was doing it, I was like, "oh god, this is horrific. I'm never doing this again". And it smelt and I was like, "No, I do not--I am not having a nice time". And then cleaning it up. I was like, "What have I done?" I didn't enjoy it. But looking back at the video, I was really impressed with the quality - like I was like, that looks great. I was really impressed with it. Anyway, I sent off the video, the client had paid in advance, which is essential for anything like that, of course. And then what happened very soon after that my account was shut down by the payment processor Square. And of course, I know now that every payment processor ever shuts down your accounts, and most of them will take the funds that are in there. So his money was sitting in that account, his paltry 60 bucks, which I would never offer something like that for that price these days. Well, I've decided I'm not going to do it. So I won't offer it for any price. I don't think... well, I don't know, maybe - there's always a price. Anyway, he had paid that money and it was sitting in the Square account. And they deleted my account and would not send any of the funds through. So that money and what else was sitting in there was just taken from me.
Jenna Love 40:28
How is that not a crime? Like that's just--
Jenna Love 41:26
I do not know and this is--my husband and I are always going "What the hell is this?" Okay, like PayPal does it all the time--PayPal has earned a fucking motza from deleting sex worker's accounts and just keeping all the money. So one thing I love is that now that's a story that I can tell. And I'm like, "Yes, I pooped on camera, and I didn't even get paid for it". So would I do it again? No, I don't intend to do it again in future, but I think it's hilarious that I did.
Holly Harte 44:36
Firstly, do you still have that video?
Jenna Love 44:38
I don't know.
Holly Harte 44:39
Because if you do, I might know someone who wants to buy it to be honest with you. Secondly, I'm going to break your heart because my client who likes to buy my poo, sometimes we're just having text chat and I'm like, oh, this is so much information. But I'm like "oh I have to poo, do you want to watch?" and they say "Yeah", and so I just literally hold the phone behind me in the toilet and film it and it looks fine. Like it works perfectly. You didn't need a mirror or Glad Wrap, you can literally--it's fine, like, and I send that to them for fun and for free, but because I think they're wonderful.
Jenna Love 45:18
Well, that is devastating information. So now that we've told you all about our pooing, I think we've well and truly come to the end of this, this topic, and I hope some of you still find us attractive in some way.
Holly Harte 45:38
Yeah, the point today is to discuss the fact that not all bookings have to be strictly penis in vagina sexual intercourse, or even penis in any orifice. It can be a multitude of things that we do in a booking, and even outside of a booking, the wild and wonderful world of escorts
Jenna Love 46:00
Do you miss the free and affordable ads and social networks without all of the anti-sex rhetoric?
Holly Harte 46:06
Assembly Four is a team of sex workers and technologists from Melbourne, Australia, aiming to bring back free and fair advertising and social spaces to the sex working community
Jenna Love 46:15
Stepping away from the clunky design of traditional platforms, their two products Tryst.link and Switter.at are refreshing and well needed changes in both presentation and mission.
Holly Harte 46:26
And both are free to join and open to all.
Jenna Love 46:29
You can find both of our profiles on Tryst. And I love how it is so clearly designed by sex workers.
Holly Harte 46:35
Yep. And I love how straightforward and easy it is to use and how much they clearly support the sex working community.
Jenna Love 46:41
And also how responsive they are when it comes to feedback and customer service.
Holly Harte 46:45
Check out their website assemblyfour.com, four the word not the number, for more info.
Holly Harte 46:58
Our misconception this week is people with kinks must be weirdos. I've had particularly new clients or very vanilla clients before say to me, "I saw that you offer this sort of kink", or maybe I tweeted something about it. And they say "oh my gosh, that you know, I'm really normal", you know, and normal is fine, and vanilla is fine. But they sort of--the insinuation is that having a kink must mean that you're a little bit strange. And I think in society as a whole people have this idea that people that are into kinks are weird people, but I guess we'd just like to dispute that because most of my kinkiest clients are the people in society that you would least expect. They're the most conventionally successful, some of the most educated, the most variety in their careers, and super likeable and charismatic and normal, not even fitting into those categories. But just such a wide variety of people have kinks that you really couldn't pick it from the outside.
Jenna Love 48:00
Yeah, something that really gets to me is something like a foot fetish, right? Like foot fetishes are the butt of so many jokes. And that's always--like I feel like that's always pitched as the most like weird wacky depraved thing. Like it's so often like, "Oh, I don't I don't have a foot fetish" and I have lots of clients who are quite vanilla, and absolutely there's nothing wrong with that. And they'll say "oh, I'm not like a weirdo with a foot fetish or anything". And I'm like, "do you know how common foot fetishes are?" So many people have foot fetishes. I'm a real foot lover. I wouldn't say that it's a fetish at all or that it's even a kink but I just think feet are fucking awesome. I think they're great. Like they hold up our whole bodies. I just think they are bang-on, underrated parts of our bodies.
Holly Harte 48:47
Always the pragmatic--
Jenna Love 48:49
Always, yes. And I have and you know every kink or fetish has like there's always a spectrum, right? Like I have clients who are hardcore foot fetishists and you know that the foot is what turns them on. They're very rare in my experience I also have clients who just like a little bit of like dirty talk about feet or or like to hea--something I really enjoy is somebody like massaging and playing with my feet while someone's penetrating me. I really enjoyed the way that feels
Holly Harte 49:22
I'm obsessed with that. Yeah, a client did that unexpectedly a few months ago and I went "oh my god".
Jenna Love 49:29
Keira Swanson was the first person who did that with me and she would she did it one time in a double - a guy was having sex with me and she was behind him and started like massaging my feet and I was like, "This is heaven". And that's always a trick like she is always her go to with me, and she knows that works so well. But yeah, absolutely love that. And so, I mean, maybe you wouldn't classify that as a foot fetish because I don't need that to get off. Yeah, I mean, my point is just there's a lot of people out there who like feet in lots of ways It's very, very common. So for it to be this whole, like, "Oh, I'm not a weirdo with a foot fet--". Like, what? That's not a thing. And something like pegging, for instance, which is generally where a woman will use a strap-on on a man -that is so common. There are a lot of men who either absolutely love that, or who are at least interested in trying it. Like a lot. A lot of guys and I'm talking about, you know, big, beefy trucker guys, I'm talking about
Holly Harte 50:32
Jenna Love 50:32
Accountants. I'm like, I'm talking about everyone. Like it - that is a really common thing. I do it a lot. I really, yeah, I really love it. And yeah, as I said, at the very least, people wanting to try these things is really common and may not be their kink, they may try it and decide they don't like it, but it is insanely common. And I get a bit sad when I have clients that are nervous to bring it up to me. And they're like, "Oh, I think it's okay to bring it up to you. Because I think you do this with other people". And I literally, I genuinely have people say to me in 20 fucking 21. They'll say to me, "I'm not gay. But I was thinking about trying pegging". And I'm like, MATE. You do not like, I mean, it's a shame that you're not more queer, but it's okay. Like, I can accept you as the straight man that you are, it's FINE. Like it just it blows my mind that they that people still feel the need to say that, but it's not, that's not their fault. That's society's fault.
Holly Harte 51:32
There is no correlation between enjoying anal stimulation and your sexual orientation. It doesn't mean anything, if you like your butt stimulated as to who you prefer to sleep with. So people who have kinks are not weirdos.
Jenna Love 51:46
And there's a lot more of them than you might think. Today for Shit People Say, Holly is going to tell me a story. And I'm keen to hear it.
Holly Harte 51:57
It's not a very long story. But it was a disappointing encounter I had recently. Obviously, during the pandemic my work structure has changed. And a lot of the people in my life know that I do sex work. Recently, I bumped into an acquaintance who said something about, you know, "how are you going?" and I said, "Oh, you know, a little bit bored, but you know, fine". And she said, "I suppose you'll have to, you might have to get a real job". And I, I honestly didn't even indulge it with a response. Because it was just such a joke of a statement, you might have to get a real job. And I'm like, What qualifies a real job to you? I make a living, I make a decent living, I pay tax. I provide a service to the community, which I think is productive, and I create something that I think brings the greater good, I enjoy what I do, all of these things, I employ a range of skills to do this work. There's so much about it, that to me, it's a real job. I feel like I don't have to justify that to our listeners, because I think you're all pretty much on board that what we do is work. But it was just such a backwards thing. For somebody who knows me and who knows how passionate I am about my job to say you might have to get a real job. What do you want me to do, Susan? Do you want me to go work down at the local Woollies for well below the average Australian wage? Okay, sure, it might be above the award wage. But still, it's not enough in Canberra for one person to survive on to do retail hospitality. And I'm sure people who are listening who have done those jobs will agree that as an adult paying your bills and rent and survive--not just surviving but thriving, on a minimum wage is incredibly difficult, let alone doing a job that you don't feel any passion for. So yeah, the expectation that that somehow is more of a valid job than my job just because I can't do mine in the middle of a pandemic is wild. How many other jobs have been shut down during the pandemic? Many jobs, many people are unable to do their jobs at the moment. And that doesn't make them any less valid as employment. It's just a side effect of a horrible thing that we're going through in the world at the moment. Anyway, maybe this was just an opportunity for someone to voice their own internalised whorephobia, and that's something that I guess you live with when you do work in the sex industry.
Jenna Love 52:04
My question for these people is always what is a real job then? What is it that you define as a real job and I've had different responses to that and there are people who say things like something where you have to be like educated to do and fuck that I mean that's the most classes bullshit I've ever heard. You know, we--sorry so that means that a janitor for instance is not a real job
Holly Harte 54:34
Or sales roles or office management roles.
Jenna Love 54:38
And then the other comeback is somewhat like with an employer. So self employment doesn't exist, and self employment shouldn't exist. And freelancers and contractors shouldn't exist? The argument just doesn't hold up. When you say okay, define to me what a real job is. They pretty much define sex work because it is a real job. Like it just, it's just absurd that we're having this argument. The amount of people who have lost their jobs or had their jobs suspended because of the pandemic. I mean, would this? Well, Susan, would Susan be going up to everyone else and saying, "Oh, you might have to get a real job?" Or does she just think that's okay to say because you're a whore?
Holly Harte 55:24
Our question of the week is, how do you both feel about younger clients?
Jenna Love 55:29
When I first entered the industry, I was quite apprehensive about younger clients. My personal experience, I had only ever been involved with people that were older than me, and generally significantly older than me. And I think I've said on the show before that one of the things that appealed to me about the industry was that I thought that I would be mostly seeing older clients, in particular, older men. So I was surprised when I first started getting clients who were younger than me. And I felt and you know, I'm not proud of this feeling. But I was like, "Oh, god, what do I do with younger men?" And I sort of felt a bit uncomfortable. And I was like, I just--it was kind of a new experience for me. And I think a lot of that actually came from self esteem issues and stuff, because I just didn't see what a younger man would see in me. And I just felt like I kind of wasn't good enough to see someone my own age, which is some weird, twisted logic. And that is a whole other conversation. But pretty quickly, I got used to it. And now I don't have any problems with it. I will say, when we're talking about like younger, like, 18/19, I want to be cool with it. But that that does weird me out a little bit. I've had a couple of clients who I've sort of gone, "Oh, God, do I need to check your ID?", and it just, you know, I'm 33. So somebody who's 18 like at this point, it's only going to be a couple more years for me where that person is half my age. And I feel a bit icky about that. I think that people who are who are 18 should absolutely be able to hire sex workers and should have agency over their sex lives. But I don't know, it just makes--it freaks me out a little bit and makes me feel a bit uncomfortable. So I don't know where I sit with this sort of 18/19 year olds, but clients in their 20s I see plenty of and I'm comfortable with.
Holly Harte 55:31
In my first years in the industry, I quite liked seeing younger clients, I thought, I don't know, I just sort of liked the lightheartedness with a lot of them, I find that they were just a little bit more simple, for lack of a better term, they, yeah, just seemed a little bit more casual in my experience. And that was fun, usually a little bit more lighthearted, a little bit more playful and silly. So as the years have progressed, I've found that I don't love seeing younger clients as much, I might have just had a few less than ideal experiences with them. So I don't write them off immediately, it's fine, I'll give everyone a chance once Well, not everyone, I will give most people a chance. But I find that a lot of younger guys, particularly when they haven't had a lot of sexual contact with a lot of other women or even when they have, they've learned a lot of what they know about sex from porn. And so their idea of sex is 'I must be hard for and hold off for as long as I can and pound away as hard as I can, and try to milk every single dollar out of this session'. As we've said before, that's--I get that you want to make the most of your session, and that's totally cool. But also we're human beings. And we do have mortal physical forms that do endure pain and feel emotions and exhaustion. And yeah, it's just not really practical to have somebody treat you like a fuck doll. And it doesn't feel really nice. It's not something where I, I look forward to seeing them again, I find with my older clients, usually a lot of them have been married, or they've just had longer relationships, or they've just matured enough to respect me as a human being. And to really see the value in our time together being more than just thumping away at me with their genitals that we get to enjoy things like each other's company, some funny stories, physical contact, a few other bits of foreplay, and sex. And all of those things are really important to enjoying the session, rather than the focus on just being put my dick in it for as long as possible. So that's the difference that I usually find. So I do tend to prefer older clients, I find they're more considerate, they're more and this is very generally they're more considerate, they're more generous, they are more understanding, and they see me as a human. But also I have had a lot of really lovely younger clients. It's just that that's not as common a situation for me.
Jenna Love 59:39
Something I've really come to enjoy, which might sound ridiculous is seeing clients that are a similar age to me. So as I said before I entered the sex industry. I had not had any like sexual contact with people my own age. And when I started doing that at work, I was like this is so weird, and I really enjoy it because I'm like oh, we are contemporaries, we have the same references. We've had like similar life journeys. Yeah, it sounds so basic to be like, Oh, I was able to connect with people my own age. But that is genuinely how I feel. And now like when I have clients in their 30s I'm like, awesome. We just we there's kind of an instant connection there a lot of the time because we just have a lot in common. So I just wanted to say that that has been quite a nice discovery for me. It's time to thank our wonderful patrons. This week, we have a new Giving Somebody who is Lily. We have some new Generous Somebodies. They are John, Dan, Ellie Bea and Hicksy. And we have a new very generous somebody who is Kyle.
Holly Harte 1:00:47
My darling friend Kyle, our Even More Generous Somebodies are Timmy, Andrew, Adam Smith, Leo, Lachlan, Sub London, Miss Billy, Nora Knightley, Lesley, Scott Watson, Andrew, Big M, Our secret admirer, Mudgee, Margaret, Weezy, John T and Celeste
Jenna Love 1:01:11
Our Extremely Generous Somebodies are Aaron, Samuel, Andrew, Pete, Theodore Betts The First Esquire, Amanda Valentina and the wonderful Sienna Saint
Holly Harte 1:01:24
As always, thanks so much for listening and supporting the podcast. Don't forget, if you can to please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts. And we hope we haven't turned you off with any of the poo talk today. Keep thinking of us as sexy, ethereal beings that don't poop. Thank you.
Jenna Love 1:01:42
Bye. Please look out for us on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and Patreon. Our name everywhere is somebodyyoupod as in podcast. Our Patreon starts at just $3 a month, and you can get all of our episodes ad-free and a day early. Plus bonus episodes, behind-the-scenes action, bloopers and more. Thank you for taking the time to listen to the voices of sex workers. And remember, Somebody You Love might just be a sex worker.